Pokemon Does Disney!
by Gweniveve Skyes
Summary: The mostly lovable cast of Pokemon will be butche-err...reenacting your favorite movies by Disney! Yeah... Rated 'T' for injuries inflicted, things we usually don't want to see and Paul dressed in a fairy costume, not under his own will of course. Really.
1. Not so Sleeping Beauty

Pokemon Does Disney!

**Yes, I have done it, though I think I might have crossed a line doing so. The (mostly) lovable cast members of Pokemon will be doing their own versions of the Disney movies we all know and love. So hold on to your eyeballs folk, 'cuz probably by the end of this, you'll be wanting to rip them out of their sockets lol. Numerous couples and shippings, mostly Dawn, because I STILL can't decide who I like her with, will be tossed around in this like... um, er... those little cheap pieces of candy from a pinata after beating the crap out of it...which is a lot of fun folks, by the way... **

**Disclaimer: I own neither Pokemon nor Disney. And from what I can tell, owning them both at the same time is a very bad idea, hence, this fic XD**

**Line breaks indicate the story's actually in progress, while the tabbed/bolded sections indicate **

**the director's, aka, me, speech within the story, just so you know.**

So here's our Cast!: Ash, Misty, Brock, Tracey, May, Drew, Max, Harley, Soledad, Paul...

Paul: Why am I in this? I already told you that I refuse to do this.

Me: Oh yes you will be doing this, so stop complaining and deal with it! Any ways, as I was saying... Dawn, Kenny, Gary, Barry (why, IDK...) Melody,...

Misty: Why Melody?

Me: There are not enough girls in this show. Plus I know it'll make you mental, so please, don't try to kill her. I already have a shortage of woman here. Anywho,... Zoey, Sabrina, Claire, Team Rocket, and whatever random gym leaders I can think of.

Gary: Well, _this_ is off to a great start...

Me: Do you WANT to be a fairy in this first story?

Ash: Do it! Do it! Do it!

Me: And just for that, no Ash, I will not do it, maybe. And can we please get on with this?

May: Will there be singing? Disney movies always have singing...

Me: Possibly, if there is a dire need for it, hopefully there won't, that way I don't need to hack lyrics from some website.

Ash: That's illegal.

Me: Why thank Captain Obvious. So, our first movie that we'll be doing is..._(digs into hat to pull out name)_... 'Sleeping Beauty'!

Brock: Can I be the prince in this one?

Me: _It begins already... _No Brock, you may not be the prince in this one. Ash is, since it's our inaugural story.

Dawn: So Ash has to wear tights?

Me: Dear god, don't ask question like that one, I'll get scarred for life with disturbing mental images...no wait, too late. Please excuse me while I go burn my eyes out with acid...

May: She's kidding, right?

Drew:_ (Sarcastic) _Oh Gee, I don't know

Me: Yes I was kidding. And be nice, Grass Head. Okay, so I think I have the cast for this one. Ash is the Prince, while the princess is Misty...

Melody: Gee, why am I not surprised?

Me: IDK, maybe it's because I'm a Pokeshipper? And seriously, stop interrupting, you guys are like a bunch of puppies with ADHD. Paul, Gary, and Drew are the lovable widdle fairies. Tee hee hee, I always wanted to say that.

Paul: I'm a fairy.

Me: Yes, you're a fairy and you'll like it! Here's your wings

Dawn: Oh look, they match your hair perfectly!

Paul: I hate you Gwen

Me: That's nice. Clair is going to be Maleficent. And Brock will play Ash's dad.

Brock: That's awkward.

Clair: Wait, why am I the bad guy?

Me: Because Maleficent was the coolest bad guy in the Disney. In my opinion, you're the coolest gymleader, therefore, you are the villainess, wait it is villiainess, right?

Clair: Yes.

Me: Okay then. Besides, you're the dragon gym leader and Maleficent turns into a dragon in the end...

Drew: SPOILER ALERT!

Me: Shut up! Okay then let's get this show on the road...

Harley: I'm ecstatic.

**Once upon a time, in a far away kingdom, which is actually closer to Toledo than anything, there was the birth of a beautiful, if a little short tempered, princess...**

Misty: I resent that!

**...So, in order to celebrate her birth, the king and queen held a massive party, which was an excuse to get drunk...**

May: That's not how the Disney story went.

Max: Yeah!

**I hope you realize that I'm going to ignore what you just said.** **The king of another kingdom nearby came too, with his son, Prince Ash and the two kingdoms were discussing a betrothal between Prince Ash and the princess... Um, Ash, will you come out from behind the curtain?**

Ash: No!

**And why not?**

Tracey: He's embarrassed by his costume.

**Oooohhhh. Will you come out, pretty please? Do it or I'll drag you out.**

Ash: Fine

Brock: Whoa dude. Maybe you should go back behind the curtain.

**Dear lord, I'm going to kill myself... Any ways. Three fairies, Gary, Drew and Paul, came to the ceremony, to bless the princess with their gifts.**

Paul: I'm going to murder you in your sleep, I hope you know that

**Just say the line...**

Paul: As the first fairy, I bless you with the gift of beauty... huzzah.

**Party pooper. Dawn, don't forget the special effects, aka the 'fairy dust'**

Dawn: Oh right. _(pours the 'dust', aka, glitter)_

Paul: Okay, it's official, I loathe you.

Drew: As the first fairy, I bless you with the gift of of song..

May: My, Drew's enthusiastic about his part.

Drew: I'm an thespian, I'm supposed to _become _the character.

Max: Actually, I think it's because you're gay.

Drew: Am not!

Melody: Oh dear goodness, Misty can sing.

**Only when nobody's looking. So, then, all of the sudden, the villainess, Maleficent, aka, Clair, showed up. Turns out she wasn't invited and she was very miffed about the whole thing.**

Clair: Well, if the gay little fairies can give her gifts, I will give on too. On her sixteenth birthday, she will prick her finger on a needle on a spindle and she'll DIE! BWAHAHA!

May: That's, a little over the top, don't you think?

**She makes a very good villianess, though. Well, then she disappeared in a puff of smoke**.

Clair: This smoke bomb stinks

**Look, I have a very small budget, alright?.. So the king and queen were in despair over this, until Gary, the third fairy, showed up**

Gary: I may not completely stop the curse, but I can lessen it so that she falls into a deep sleep until her true love can wake her up... Hey Ashy boy! You have to kiiiisssss her!

Ash/ Misty: No way! I'm not kissing him/her!

**Gary, why did you have to do that**?

Gary: 'Cause...

**After the third fairy did her spell, the three convinced the King and Queen to move her far away from the kingdom into the woods, where the fairies will raise her, away from Maleficent**

Misty: I'm living with a bunch of guys? And will there be any bug Pokemon in the woods?

**Do I look omnipotent? I have no idea. So they raised the Princess in the woods for sixteen years, all the while with her living under the pseudonym, 'Briar Rose'. Sixteen years passed and she grew up to be a beautiful woman, gifted with her singing and beauty. And no, she did not pay me to say that.**

** It was on her sixteenth birthday when Gary, Paul and Drew decided to make her a surprise birthday party. So they kicked her out of the house and started their decorations.**

** Sooo, the princess wandered the woods, completely bored out of her skull, so she entertained herself by singing to the little forest pokemon. Earplugs are fifty cents per pair.**

Misty: Hey! I can sing!

**Yes, I know, I heard your little love song.**

Misty: Eep!

Ash: What love song?

Dawn: It's the song Misty sings about—Mmph!

**Thank you Misty. So, while she was singing in the woods, Prince Ash came cavorting through the woods...**

Ash: Why?

**I don't know. But while he was traveling through the woods, he heard this song and he went to investigate. He came across the girl and they started dancing in the woods...**

Misty: Ash! That was my foot!

Ash: Sorry!

Melody: Aw, how romantic

Tracey: Ha! I knew it all along!

**Ahem. Thank you. Then, while dancing, they fell in love, which shows how unrealistic Disney is when it comes to romance.**

May: Cynic

**I'll take that as a compliment. However, it grew late and the pair had a curfew, so they had to leave.**

Misty: That sucks

Ash: Majorly

**When she came home, she told the fairies about the mysterious man she met in the woods. Unfortunately though, they had some news to tell her**

_**Gary: **_You're a princess, and you're betrothed

Misty: That's awkward.

May: Um, Gwen, you missed a part

**What are you, the Disney expert now? What part did I miss then?**

May: When they do their magic and Maleficent's henchmen sees it.

**Oop. Well, they also told her that they were fairies and the did some magic, which they'll ****probably get busted for later.**

Paul: Oh, and by the way Princess, we're also fairies. Can I go kill myself now?

**Not until after the story Meanwhile, Ash went home to his father, and told him about the girl he met in the woods**

Ash: I found this girl, and I'm going to marry her!

Brock: That's moving a little too fast isn't it?

**Brock, that's not your line.**

Brock: But still, they met earlier that day. I mean seriously, love is supposed to build and grow over time and-

**Misty, your mallet please. Thank you. Now please Brock, say the bloody line.**

Brock: Besides, you're going to marry another, Princess Misty. Now that sounds kind of weird.

Misty: What is this? Pick on Misty Day?

** Let me check my calender. Nope. But, as much as the king tried to plead with his son...**

Brock: Pretty please! With a cherry on top!

Ash: No!

**...He couldn't convince him, and Prince Ash went off on his horse to the cottage of 'Briar Rose' . In the meantime, the fairies took the princess home to her kingdom and essentially locked her up in her room. So depressed, she started crying. Then Maleficent, who discovered where the princess was, disguised herself as smoke and tricked her into leaving her room.**

Clair: The dry ice machine is broken...so there is no smoke

**I hate my budget. So, under the spell, Misty walked up to a enchanted spindle and pricked her finger on it.**

Misty: Ow! That hurt! Ooohhh,...

Gary: How'd did you get her to fall asleep?

**Jigglypuff**

Paul: And why not the rest of us then?

** It's called discontinuity**

May: What about the spindle and the spinning wheel?

**Ebay. Now, can we get on with this? So because the princess was asleep, the fairies decided to put the whole castle to sleep. Cast members, please put on earphones while the Jigglypuff sings. You have been warned. **

** So, Prince Ash galloped to 'Briar Rose's' cottage, where Maleficent's henchmen captured him and hung him on a wall with chains.**

Ash: This hurts. I can't feel my hands

Misty: Kinky

Tracey: Aaaawwwkwwwarrrrddd.

**Misty you're supposed to be asleep!**

Misty: My bad.

**While Prince Ash was imprisoned, the fairies freed him from the chains and the rushed towards the castle, where Maleficent and the princess were. A wall of massive thorns surrounded the place, so he had to cut his way through. In my opinion though, it was just a serious weeding problem. After all, everybody was asleep, so no chores were getting done.**

** Prince Ash cut his way through the thorns, where he was then confronted by Maleficent, who had turned herself into a giant dragon pokemon, Giratina.**

Ash: Is that an inflatable Giratina?

**Why yes it is, turns out there are pokemon labor laws, so I couldn't use a real one, especially since we're going to be killing it. Stupid Union reps. Losers. Plus, the budget's in the drain, so we can't afford much in the robotics/ CGI department, therefore the inflatable one... **

**Ash and Maleficent fought fiercely, until Ash flung his sword and impaled Maleficent in ****the heart... Um Ash? Throw the sword**

Ash: Oh sorry. Okay, now it's deflating.

Tracey: It's kind of funny, but kind of sad at the same time.

**I know. Now free from the dragon, Ash ran up to the room where the Princess was sleeping. It was peaceful for once around here since she was asleep, but he had to wake her up by kissing her... Seriously Ash, stop hiding and kiss her already. It's not like she has cooties**

Gary: Ash and Misty, Sittin' in a tree, K-i-s-s-i-n-g...

**Real mature. Alright Ash, if you don't kiss her within the next three seconds, I will drag you over there and force you to do it. One, Two, three...**

Ash: Alright! Alright! I'm going, I'm going.

**Holy crap, he's actually doing it.**

Melody: 'bout freakin' time.

**No kidding. I thinks he's enjoying it.**

Brock: I'm so proud...

**Oookaaayy. With a kiss from her true love, the princess finally woke up, as did everybody in the castle... Okay, you lovebirds can stop kissing now. It's a little awkward for us single people...** **Alrighty then, threatening isn't going to work. So, on with the conclusion..**

** Now together, the couple got married and they lived happily ever after. Okay, seriously, can you please stop sucking face? It really IS awkward for the rest of us... **

And there you have itfolks, the first Disney movie horribly ripped up into shreds and put together by the pokemon cast. Of course, this won't be the only story we'll be doing. Since Disney has a pile of movies, we'll being doing a whole bunch of redoes. So, if you have any ideas, requests, casting ideas, send them here! Send them ASAP! Like, right now!

Here is the possible list of ones to do:

Snow White

Lion King

Robin Hood

Hercules

Beauty and The Beast

Aladdin

Cinderella

The Little Mermaid

Mulan

And any other Disney movies that you or I think of...

And don't forget, please tip the authoress on the way out! Reviews are greatly appreciated


	2. The Flamboyant God of the Underworld

**By the way, I'm not intending to bash Disney in any way, shape, or form. I absolutely love Disney movies, my top five favorites are, 'The Lion King', 'Aladdin', 'Robin Hood', Beauty and The Beast' (which is my #1. Period.), and finally, 'Pocahontas'. **

May: Which movie this time?

Me: I have decided 'Hercules'

May: You said we could do 'Beauty and The Beast'!

Me: I changed my mind, for now. Besides, you and I both know that there will be war by the readers over who plays the two main parts, so I'm just going to milk it and watch the fans ravage each other into tiny bits. It'll be fun

Max: She has a point.

Gary: That will be fun to watch. Mind if I bring popcorn?

Me: Please do. And alright May, you can stop sulking now.

Dawn: Who's going to play what?

Me: Because I take pity on the guy's poor miserable soul, Brock's gonna be Hercules.

Brock: YYYYEEEEEESSSSSSS!

Me: I think I'm going to regret this one

Misty: Probably

Me: Don't rub it in

Brock: Who's going to be the chick?

Me: Well, it could be Professor Ivy...

Brock: Oh Dear lord, please no!

Ash: Geez, what's your problem with her anyway?

Brock: Well shall never speak of this incident again...

Melody: I think that the Professor's a lesbian.

Me: That's my theory too. However, since I'm so nice to you, and pity you, somewhat, your love interest is going to be played by Melody

Melody: Say WHA?

Me: You're Brock's love interest. You fit the chick perfectly. So take it or leave it.

Melody: I'm going to leave it

Me: Nope, too bad, you're taking it

Melody: But you just said...

Me: My word is law! BWAHAHA...ha.

Max: Cough'powertrip'cough!

May: Totally agree

Me: And just for kicks, Harley's gonna be Hades

Harley: Fabulous!

Drew: Fruit

Me: Hey, be nice, even though it's true.

May: You really are a cynic

Me: Only when I'm around you. Alright, so Phil is going to be,...hmmmm, that's a toughie. Either Paul or Meowth

Paul: I refuse to run around in goat pants

Me: It's called being a satyr. Can't you get anything right?... Hey, hey, hey! Don't give the narrator the bird!

Paul: Oops, my finger slipped

Me: And just for that, you ARE running in goat pants

Dawn: Wow, you really don't like him, do you?

Me: How on earth did you come to that conclusion?

Dawn: Ummm,...

Misty: Hey Dawn, she's being sarcastic.

Dawn: I knew that, thank you very much

May: Riiiiigggght

Me: That's telling them May. Okay, Paul's Phil, Zeus is going to be Gary

Gary: Sweet, I have cosmic, omnipotent powers!

Misty: Any more and his ego will explode

Me: Hopefully he knows its a play. And also just for kicks, Ash is going to run around as the Pegasus... MWHAHAHAHA! I love my job!

Ash: I hate you

Me: And finally, Jessie and James are going to be those Pain and Panic dudes.

Jessie: I'm a guy.

Me: Yes, but Ash is the Pegasus, so you got off lucky

Misty: Awww, Ash is the pony! Do you want the sugar cube, pony? Or better yet, a bridle to shut you up?

Tracey: Does she have like some secret kink?

Me: AHHHHH! I'm being corrupted by pervy teenagers! AHHHH...oh wait, I was already corrupted, um never mind, false alarm. But I probably will need therapy after all of this is said and done.

Ash: I hate you all.

Me: Oh yes Ash, go emotastic on us, It'll make you feel better. Corner's over there. Soo, let's get this party started

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Once upon a time...**

Gary: Do you always have to start stories off like that?

**They're called fairy tales you moron. Anyway, as I was saying, once upon a time,**

Gary: I mean seriously...

**Shut up! Or I'll take your so-called cosmic powers away! Much better. Once upon a time in ancient Greece, before their financial crisis, the king of the gods Zeus and his wife Hera...**

Gary: Who's my wife?

**Really man? Fine it's Dawn.**

Dawn: I'm married to Gary?

**Yes, it's called Cavaliershipping, it's actually gaining popularity. I'm somewhat neutral towards it... So they named their newborn son Hercules.**

Max: Actually, in Roman myths, he was also called Heracles and he wasn't Hera's son at all, he was the son of a mortal woman and Zeus.

**Why thank you walking encyclopedia. However, they couldn't really use that due to the fact that that would have been promoting infidelity on Zeus's behalf and that's something not normally discussed in Disney movies. So as I was saying, to celebrate his birth, Zeus held a massive party, drinks were provided by Dionysus. Zeus's gift to Hercules was the magical flying horse Pegasus...**

Gary: Here's your gift...

**Um, Ash?**

Ash: Neigh

**Dude, be more enthusiastic about it. Anyways, in the middle of the party, Zeus's brother ****Hades, lord of the Underworld, showed up.**

Harley: I'm heeerrrreeee! My Ho-Oh, these robes look hideous on me!

**Yep, regretting that already. So after some emotional scarring inflicted on Hades, courtesy of Zeus, Hades went back to the Underworld, where he had an appointment with the Fates.**

Harley: I still want new robes, fyi.

**Read my lips. Can't. Afford. It. So, during his meeting with the Fates, he found out that in eighteen years, he could unleash the Titans and rule Mt. Olympus. But there was one little glitch in that plan.**

Harley: NOOOO! Hercules is going to stop me? So unfair! Pain, Panic, get over here!

Max: Wow's he's good

Drew: He's going to haunt my nightmares

Harley: I want you to destroy Hercules by making him mortal, then, I can kill him

Brock: Wow, my life sucks

Ash: Speak for yourself

Gary: Can I call you Pony-boy from now on?

Ash: N. O.

**Hey, play nice in the proverbial sandbox. So that very same night, The two demons, who coincidentally, can't do anything right like their real life counterparts, kidnapped Hercules, and forced him to drink a potion to make him immortal. Fortunately, they dropped the bottle, and he didn't drink every last drop.**

James: Oops.

Jessie: Oh, that was brilliant James, I mean, whoever you are. You dropped the freaking bottle!

**A couple came along and adopted baby Hercules, whom they discovered had amazing strength**

Brock: Ha ha yes! I'm buff and I know it!

**Ignoring that statement. As he grew, he started to have difficulty controlling his strength, at one point, destroying the small town's market**

Brock: My bad.

Misty: Got that right.

**His parents then told him about his real past and he went to the temple of Zeus...**

Gary: Sweet! I have my own temple

**Enough with the power trip already, Gary.**

Gary: Oh, right. Broc-I mean, Hercules, I am your father.

Brock: The statue's my father?

Gary: No, the king of the gods is your father.

Misty: You're just itching to do a 'Star Wars' joke, aren't you Gwen?

**Yep.**

Brock: But the statue IS of the King of the gods, therefore, does that mean that the statue is my dad?

Gary: GAAAAAHHHHHHH!

**Cool it, Brock's just messing with you. Though I do have to admit, watching your head explode was entertaining.**

Gary: That makes more sense now. Alrighty then. The only way you'll be able to join me is to become a true hero.

Brock: How cliché

Gary: Totally. So, here's your old friend Pegasus.

Ash: Neigh

Brock: Awkward.

Gary: And this half-man, half goat dude named Phil...

Paul: PAUL you IDIOT!

Gary: It's called a MOVIE! Any way, that guy over that way is going to train you.

Brock: Freakin'. Fantastic.

**Wow, you guys are even more cynical than me. So, riding Pegasus, Hercules traveled to the place where the satyr lived and convinced the pervy little goat to train him. Cue 'Rocky' training montage. **

Paul: This costume's hot.

**Suck it up you pansy. After the training, Phil...**

Paul: Paul

**Fine. Paul, whatever. The trio went out into the real world in order to Hercules to become a 'true hero'. Along the way, they ran into a girl, who was on a one way trip to somewhere not very fun with a hideously ugly centaur. Eeeewwwwww...**

Melody: Oh, no, I'm being attacked. Someone help me.

Brock: I'll save you!

**And so it begins. And no Misty, you may not pull the guy's ear off, well, not yet anyway. Hercules managed to beat the snot out of the centaur with nothing but a fish and rescued the damsel in distress.**

Melody: I didn't need saving.

Brock: Suuuurrrreeee

Paul: Oh for the love of Mew, will you stop drooling?

Ash: Seriously man, it's a smidgen creepy for the rest of us.

Misty: Now may I please go do it...

**NO. So after salivating over the girl, 'Paul' managed to drag Hercules away and they were off to Thebes, to save some more people. Meanwhile, the chick, named Meg, fyi, was soon harrassed by Hades.**

Harley: You're supposed to be helping me with my quest for world domination! Jeez!

Jessie: Harley taking over the world?

James: I'm scarred by the prospect of it

Melody: Oops. My bad.

Harley: Well, you better do it right next time, and can I PLEASE have a new robe?

**While in Thebes, Hercules managed to save a pair of kids from a nasty Hydra. Unfortunately, this scene cannot be shown because we have no budget for the monster. I spent it all suing the Pokemon Union Reps, so you're just going to have to imagine the scene.**

May: Was that where the money went?

Drew: That would explain why all the lawyers were circling like a bunch of vultures.

**Hercules was now a 'hero'. The guy had fangirls, action figures and even a pair of shoes with his face plastered on them.**

Brock: I have fangirls? YEEESSSSSS!

**So he's going to be making millions off of royalties and all he cares about is fangirls?**

Drew: The man has his priorities straight.

** So he traveled up to the temple of Zeus to talk with his dad.**

Brock: Can I come up to Mt. Olympus now?

Gary: No.

Brock: How about now?

Gary: No.

Brock: But dude, I'm a freaking action figure! With fangirls! Fangirls I tell you!

Gary: Nope.

Brock: You're doing this because you don't like me huh?

Gary: Possibly.

**Meanwhile, Hades is trying to figure out what to do about Hercules, who has now thrown ****a monkey wrench into his plan. Then, the god of death realized that he had a way to beat Hercules. **

Harley: I want you to find his weakness

Melody: That's it? All that dramatization and that was it?

Harley: Is that a slushy cup? With his face on it?

James: What? I was thirsty**.**

Harley: Oh. Can I have some? These robes are absolutely stifling.

James: That's gonna have to be a 'no' on that one.

**So, slushy distraction aside, 'Meg' went out to find Hercules's weakness, aka, seduce the fellow, who was most likely a virgin**

Brock: Am NOT!

Misty: Suuuurrreee you aren't.

**I'm talking about Hercules, but I could be talking about you. You get to decide. So, after skipping the whole day with him, 'Paul' and his Pegasus,...Misty, for the love of god, please stop snickering whenever I say that, it's very distracting. So 'Paul' and Pegasus found Hercules and brought him back home. Afterward, we have a musical number.**

Melody: I'm not singing

**Sore loser. Then 'Paul' finds out the Meg is working with Hades. I can't exactly remember how, I think I zoned out during that part. But then after finding out, 'Paul'...**

Ash: Are you going to be making finger quotes every time you say 'Paul'?

**Possibly. So 'Paul' and Hercules have a huge fight**

Brock: Loser!

Paul: Your mom is a loser?

**Probably not that kind of argument. They didn't have 'your mom' jokes back in ancient Greece. So after the huge fight, Hades comes along and offers Hercules a deal: If had had no strength for one day, then Meg will be safe. Hercules, who can be very naïve, agrees and then promptly gets his tush handed to him on a silver platter by the Cyclops, whom Hades released, along with the other Titans to kick Zeus's can back to the Bronze age.**

Harley: BWAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA!

Jessie/James: We're winning! We're winning! We're winning winning winning!

Max: Yeah, the only time that'll happen

Drew: Touche

Gary: Um, why am I getting my can kicked, by HARLEY nonetheless?

**It's how the Disney movie went. During the fight with the Cyclops, Hercules managed to beat the Cyclops without his superhuman strength. But during the fight, Cyclops mortally wounded Meg and Hercules got his strength back.**

Melody: Foam,..pillar... really heavy.

Brock: You're good at this acting stuff. Can I have your phone number?

Melody: After I'm done dying...

**Your sarcasm is duly noted. Hercules went on to send all of the Titans back from where they came from. Thus, Hades's plan for world conquest was finally kaput.**

Harley: NOOOOOOOOOO!

James: We lost!

Jessie: Why am I not surprised?

**But during the process of beating up Hades, Meg died.**

Melody: That sucks.

Paul: Stop talking, you're supposed to be dead.

Ash: Can I get out of this costume now?

**So much for touching depressing scene...**

Melody: Got that right

**And in order to rescue his 'true love', Hercules went down to the Underworld o rescue her soul. He did and he became a true hero. Hades, on the other hand, had a one way trip into the river Styx, which is also one of my favorite bands.**

Ash: I'm, sailing away...

**No, we are not bursting into songs here, especially ones parodied by LittleKuriboh. He might sue us.**

May: Who?

**You know, the guy who does the parody show, 'Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series'?**

May: Nope, still doesn't ring a bell

**Aw forget it. I'll just make you watch it later on YouTube. Now that Hercules was a true hero, he was accepted into Mt. Olympus, but he declined the offer and stayed as a mortal with Meg. Cue kissing, mushy scene.**

Melody: Heck no! Are you on crack!

Brock: Come back here!

**Ah, some things never change.**

Misty: Do you think we should go help Melody?

**Do you really want to?**

Misty: Not particularly

**Alrighty then. Gary, hand me that popcorn, will you?**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

W00T! Numero dos is completed. I apologize for taking so long, took forever with this one to get everything just right. And remember, send in ideas, suggestions, movie requests, casting requests, etc.,. And for those of you who were wondering, yes, I am just going to kick back and watch the readers wage war over who should play 'Beauty and The Beast'. It'll be immensely entertaining because you and I both know that you guys have your own ideas on these sort of things... Don't deny it..

And remember, please tip the Authoress on the way out XD. Thank you and have a nice day

Next Time: Well, I won't be telling you that, 'cuz then that will spoil the surprise XD


	3. Seven Slovenly Shorties

Me: Trainer pokemon,...yadda yadda yadda,... Can be legally used,...hmmmm...YES!

Ash: What is it?

Me: I figured out my loophole that will solve all of my problems! Excuse me while I borrow all of your pokemon for this next story.

Dawn: Which is?

Me: The very first Disney ever made, and the only one to have eight Academy Awards, one normal sized one, and seven short one, specially made just for him...'Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs'!

Misty: Whoop dee do

Me: What's your problem?

Misty: I just don't really like that one.

Me: Why?

Misty: I mean, its a promotional poster for necrophilia. Seriously, the girl was DEAD. And then he kissed her, and then she woke up. My lord people.

Me: And here I thought your mind _wasn't _ in the gutter like the others

May: But she was actually asleep, remember? All she did was take a bite, not the whole apple.

Me: she does have a point hun, she wasn't really dead. Besides, you played Sleeping Beauty and she wasn't dead either, even though people thought she was.

Ash: Dear Mew, they're arguing over Disney.

Tracey: Maybe we'll get to see a catfight...

Max: May, what's 'necrophilia?

May: Ummmmm,...

Gary: I thought we were keeping this PG.

Me: It's actually rated 'T'

Misty: My bad.

Brock: Quickly, usher the small child out of the room!

Me: Alright Brock, you don't have to be so dramatic.

Drew: We'll explain it when you're older

Me: Well, if it makes you feel any better, you won't be playing Snow White, Dawn will.

Dawn: AwesomeSauce!

Paul: That's not a word.

Kenny: Hey, leave Dawn alone! It can be a word if she wants it to be?

Me: Since when did he show up?

Kenny: I've been here the whole time

Me: My bad

Paul: Obsess much, shorty?

Kenny: When do you care?

Paul: Errr,...

Me: Ha! We now have undeniable proof that Ikarishipping does in fact exist!

Paul: Excuse me?

May: Should we tell him about fanfiction yet, especially since you've mentioned Ikarishipping?

Me: Like heck we aren't. Can you imagine what would happen if he came across Comashipping?

Drew: I shudder at the thought.

Me: Never mind. So, going on with the script. Dawn's Snow White, while the seven dwarfs are Ash, Brock, Drew, Max, Tracey, Ritchie and Gary.

Ash: First I was a winged horse, now I'm a dwarf?

Me: Hey, I wouldn't complain if I were you. You were the Prince in the first movie. Alright, and just for kicks, and maybe wanting to see a war between Paul and Kenny, Paul's going to be the prince in this one.

Paul/Kenny: What!

Me: That's right, you heard me, now deal with it.

Kenny: But I wanna be the prince!

Me: Kenny, there are a crapload of Disney movies, so there so a chance that you can be the prince. And lastly, Barry will be the huntsman and Jessie's going to be the evil stepmother

James: Typecast much?

Me: Don't say that out loud.

May: What about the magic mirror?

Me: Crap, um, Meowth can be the magic mirror's voice

Meowth: Seriously?

Me: Hey, I'm running out of people here. They're all dwarfs.

Meowth Well that's nice to know

Me: Well don't you feel important

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

** Along time ago, in a land not far enough away from here, there was once a beautiful queen who longed for a child. One wintery day, while she was working on embroidery, she pricked her finger just as she looked out on the snow covered landscape and she said this, um, where's the queen.**

Gary: We have no queen

**Dang it. Okay then, Solidad, you can be the good queen. Here, say these words.**

Solidad: Um, alright..."If only I had a child with lips as red as blood, skin as white as snow and hair as blue as the sky."

May: Solidad, that's not how the line goes.

Solidad: But that's what the script says

May: But it's 'hair as black as ebony', not blue as the sky'.

**And here we have it folks, the world's biggest Disney fan. But May, Dawn has blue hair, not black. It would just be weird.**

May: God point.

**As I was saying, shortly after she had her wish, she got pregnant and had the child. Then, she died during birth**

Solidad: That sucks

**I know. But the King of the land grew lonely and he married another, who was a total, well, you know...**

Misty: A (curse word has been edited for the sake of younger children, like Max)?

**Exactly. So the stepmother was a total wench and grew jealous of her stepdaughter's looks**

Dawn: Why am I not surprised?

Jessie: And for the record, I'm so much prettier than her.

**Keep telling yourself that. As she grew more insanely jealous, she forced Snow White to dress in rags and live with the servants. In the mean time, the Evil Queen had a magic mirror, and everyday, she would ask the mirror:**

Jessie: 'O Mirror mirror, on the wall,

Who's the fairest of them all?'

Meowth: Do I have to?

**Yes Meowth, just say the blooming line, please.**

Meowth: You are the fairest one of all

Jessie: Good

Misty/ May/ Ash: Eeeeeewwwwww...

Jessie: Don't make me kill you twerps.

** Oh jeez louise. So, the Evil Queen was happy that she was the fairest one of all, even though in reality, she really wasn't.**

Jessie: Don't make me kill you too.

**Do it and you'll die. One day Snow White was at a well, and it turned out it was a wishing well,...how convenient. So then Snow White made a wish,... Dawn, what was your wish?**

Dawn: I'm not telling!

** Lighten up man, or, girl. As Snow White made her wish, a prince came along and, or dear lord, this part's gonna be awkward...hee hee hee **

Ash: Why?

** It's Paul, remember? The prince Paul, looked upon her with such admiration that,...oh dear, this is just too good... ha ha ha!**

Brock: Here, I'll say the line. "The prince looked upon her with such admiration in his eyes that she freaked and fled the scene."

Paul: I _what_?

Drew: Oh crap.

May: Something small and fuzzy's gonna die.

**Paul, we all know you have the hots for her. Deny it all you want, but it's true.**

Paul: No I don't.

**Right...And I'm Knuckles the Echidna**

Ash: I thought we weren't going to do Little Kuriboh jokes.

** Oops. But the Evil Queen saw this scene and she became even more jealous, if this was possible. She went to her mirror.**

Jessie: 'Mirror mirror, on the wall,

who's the fairest one of all?

Meowth: Seriously?

Jessie: Do it Moeowth or I'll beat the pudding out of you.

James: Better do what she says

Meowth: Fine... Um, what was my line?

**Oh for the love of...**

Meowth: Oh, I remember now! Well, it ain't you. It's that blue haired twerp, what's her face.

Dawn: You Dawn, you idiot.

Meowth: Oh right.

**Well, that wasn't quite the right line but that will do. Furious, the Evil Queen ordered her huntsman to kill Snow White and bring her heart in a box. Eeeeewwwww, that's just messed up.**

Misty: Imagine what 4Kids would have done to this scene if they got hold of it.

**Oh crap, that's even worse.**

Barry: I can't kill Dawn! She's hot!

Dawn: That's a bit shallow

Barry: It's true.

Dawn: Does _every _guy have to hit on me?

**Um, you are wearing a skirt that's like six inches long, at maximum. Course guys are going to notice... So the Huntsman kidnapped Snow White and dragged her to the woods. But she was too pretty so he decided not to kill her. Oh yes, like **_**that's **_**going to stop a guy from killing someone. Instead, he killed a boar and placed its heart in the box, to replaced what would have been Snow White's.**

Dawn: So disturbing

**I know, right? Saved from the Huntsman, she ran into the woods, led by little forest pokemon, who in turn, were led by Pikachu...**

Barry: Hey, you're welcome for saving your life, BTW. Can I have you phone number?

Dawn: Would you like a restraining order?

Kenny: Burn!

Ash: Wait, I thought that pokemon couldn't be used thanks to labor laws...

**I found a loophole, neener neener neener!**

Misty: Which is?

**That pokemon owned by trainers are not covered by the labor laws, hence, I can use all of yours. Oh, by the way, Pikachu loves being an actor.**

Pikachu: Pika!

**That means yes.**

Ash: No it doesn't

**Yes it does.**

Ash: No, it doesn'-

Misty: Can we get on with this stupid thing?

**Woops, better not tick Misty off. So the forest pokemon led Dawn to a little cabin in the woods. She went inside, to find that it was extremely dirty.**

Misty: It's occupied by a bunch of teenaged boys, what do you expect?

Brock: Aw, that hurts

**Touche. Disgusted with the state of the small cottage...**

Dawn: Totally

**Ahem. Disgusted with the state of the small cottage, she started to clean, along with the help of her pokemon friends. Pikachu, stop sulking, you know what you were you going to do...aw crap, is it going to electrocute me?...Nuts, it is... GAAAHHHHHH!**

May: Is she dead?

Drew: Let's poke her with a stick and find out.

**I'm...not dead. Can I have the...script now?**

Drew: Are you sure that you're not dead?

**Positive. Just hand me the bloody script. As I was saying BEFORE I got electrocuted, Snow White was cleaning the cottage out in the middle of nowhere. After she was done cleaning, she fell asleep across seven little beds. And therefore breaking many trespassing laws in the process.**

** Meanwhile, seven people were heading home from a day's work in the mines.**

Ash: We were working in the mines? What for?

** Ask Walt Disney **

Ash: He's dead.

**Exactly. So they came home to find Snow White asleep on their beds.**

Ritchie: Hey, she's pretty cute.

Dawn: Ritchie!

Ritchie: Sorry wasn't supposed to say that out loud.

**Oh jeez. The dwarfs and Snow White struck a deal; If she kept cleaning and taking care of them, they would let her stay there at the cottage, away from the Evil Queen. Meanwhile, the Evil Queen was currently brooding over, actually, I'm not sure why she was brooding in the first place. I guess it's because she's evil and all and that's what they do.**

May: Real legit Gwen.

**Hey, how was I supposed to know what villains do in their free time? But any way, the Evil Queen went to the mirror, positive that she was the fairest of them all. And so she asked the ****mirror:**

Jessie: 'Mirror mirror, on the wall.

Who's the fairest of them all?'

Meowth: Do we seriously have to do this again lady? Alright, alright. No, for the last time, you are not the 'fairest' of them all. It's that Sleeping Beauty chick...

**Wrong movie.**

Meowth: Whoopsies. Actually it's not that sleeping Beauty chick, it's Snow White. She's still alive and it sucks to be you.

Tracey: Brutal

Meowth: Hey, you would be too if you were in my shoes.

Tracey: Good point.

Jessie: WHAT? I'm not the fairest of them all? Snow White's has to die!

**I sincerely hope you're acting Jessie. So, the Evil Queen disguised herself as a old hag, though in all honesty, she didn't need much. As the old hag, she went to the forest to sell apples, which were poisoned. She offered one to Snow White, who took one and took a bite out of it.**

Dawn: This tastes funny,...ohhh.

** And chloroform strikes once again!**** Snow White fell into a deep sleep after taking a bite of the apple. The dwarfs came home to find her on the floor of the cabin**

Gary: I think she's dead

Dawn: No I'm not!

Drew: Here, let's poke her with a stick.

Dawn: Oh no you don't!

**Dawn hun, you're supposed to be asleep.**

Dawn: Oh, sorry.

** Drew, stop threatening to poke things with sticks. They sound like innuendos.**

Brock: Someone has a dirty mind

**Blame Drumline, they corrupted my soul, even though most of my friends say that I have an innocent aura. If only they knew...**

Misty: Can we get on with this? I'd like to go on to the next story.

**Right. The dwarfs thought she was dead and went after the Evil Queen, who had caused this. After a lengthy chase, she 'fell' off a cliff.**

Ash: Can we push her? It'll be more dramatic.

**Let's not and say we did.**

Jessie: Even think about doing it and I'll make sure that you'll never be able to-

**Please, keep the threats 'PG'. The dwarfs returned, distraught and depressed. They built her a coffin made of crystal...**

Dawn: But, I'm not dead.

**But they don't know that. The dwarfs kept a vigil over her, hoping that someday that she'll wake up. Then one day, the prince from the beginning of the movie showed up to the scene. Why he was randomly running around in the woods populated by dead chicks and dwarfs, we'll never know.**

Paul: Good point.

**The prince came upon the scene and saw Snow White lying there in the coffin. For the longest time he had been searching for the girl at the well,**

Paul: No I wasn't

**Go with the flow. He wondered if this was the girl he saw. She looked like the girl and from what he heard, she was the girl, so he decided to give it a shot. So he walked over to the coffin and... oh no, not again. This is classic! Ha ha ha!**

May: Oh what is it now?

**Paul has to kiss Dawn!**

Paul/Dawn: Over my dead body!

**Oh for the love of Mew, can we please be mature about this? Ash and Misty had to do it and they were mature about it.**

Misty: Actually, you had to threaten Ash to do it.

Ash: Heh heh...

**Oh, right. And I can't get you to stop making out ever since. But come on, it's not that bad, just one little peck**** on the lips...**

Paul: I said, no.

Dawn: Agreeing with him. For once.

**You're supposed to be asleep missy. Is there any way you'll do this, Paul?**

Kenny: I'll do it! I'll do it!

**You're not the prince here.**

Brock: Re-jected!

**Well, I hate to do this but, remember that little incident, the one I caught on tape, Paul? A certain video that involved 'Single Ladies'?**

Paul: You wouldn't.

**I would and I will. Expect this to go on YouTube by this evening if you don't do this.**

Ash: What tape?

Max: What's 'Single Ladies'?

May: It's a video by Beyonce.

Max: Who?

May: Never mind.

Paul: Fine! But that better not go viral.

**See, that wasn't so bad?... Um,... Wait Paul, where are you going? And why are you dragging Dawn with you? You already did the scene. **

Misty: I think he liked it

**Yeah, I think so too.**

Kenny: But I wanted to be the prince...

**You'll get your chance Kenny. Someday after we can pry the two apart... Who knew that they liked each other? Seriously, every one BUT me? Man I am out of the loop.**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Yeah! Number three done! That one was so much easier to write than the last one XD. Hoped you enjoy!**

**And while I am a huge Poke, Contest, and Ikarishipping fan, I will give other couples, like Cavalier, Penguin, Rocket, Brunette...**

Drew: Over my dead body!

**Okay, maybe not Brunette..., but there will be other shippings here, so don't worry, I'll try to keep it open.. The only ones I won't do are Advanced, Orange, and Pearl. I'm just pretty much dead set against those three, no offense against those fans... **

**PS: And now you have to wonder about Paul and the mysterious 'Single Ladies' videotape... XD**


	4. Drew in Tights

Drew in Tights

(Yes, it is a pun off of 'Men in Tights')

**So I had plenty of questions concerning pairings. For those of you who were wondering, Cavalier is the pairing of Dawn and Gary, Brunette is May and Gary, Penguin, Kenny and Dawn, and Rocket, well, that one is a mite obvious... **

** And to answer Hawk-Master's question, yes, I am a girl (surprising yes? Very much so... Its the humor XD)**

**And no, I do not hate May, even though I may poke fun at her a lot. I actually like her a lot. She still should have won that one Wallace Cup episode... Curse you producers, Curse you.**

Me: And fangirls scream everywhere!

Drew: What about me in tights?

May: Drew's in tights?

Tracey: I'm scarred for life, again.

Me: No, not yet! Geez, it's for the next movie we're doing! It's 'Robin Hood'.

Drew: Oh what fun. Anthropomorphic animals.

Me: Mock the movie and your mouth will have a one way trip with my foot. Then your fangirls won't be so happy then, huh?

Misty: Let's not and say we did

Me: Dang it...So in case you haven't heard, the next movie is 'Robin Hood'.

Ash: You've already said that like three seconds ago.

Me: Shut up! Anyways, as the title says, Drew will be playing the titular role...

Drew: I'm not running around in tights

Paul: Dear lord, I hope not...

Me: What does it take for you to shut up?

Brock: Playing Paul's 'Single Ladies' tape for us...

Paul: Don't make me kill you...

Me: Later guys. And May will be playing as Maid Marian

May: Yay!

Me: Thus sating the Disney fan. Max will be Little John...

Max: But Little John was a big dude.

Me: It's called humor, flow with it. We'll just call you 'Little Max'.

Dawn: Aw, how adorable! I like that!

Max: You also like making out with Paul...

Me: And next character! Brock will be playing Prince John and James will be his buddy, Sir Hiss.

James: I'm sick and tired of playing the bad guy..

Me: Too bad 'Captain-Flamboyant-Even-Though-I'm-Straight-And Have-A-Crush-On-Jessie'...

James: Eep!

Jessie: What about a crush?

James: N-nothing! I swear!

Meowth: Oh yeah, Jimmy here has a crush on-MMFPH!

Me: James, please stop choking Meowth. I swear he's turning purple. Thank you. Tracey will be Friar Tuck and Ash will be the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Ash: Yes, a villain part!

Misty: Comical, villain part.

Ash: Don't rain on my parade.

Me: Let's see now, who to cast for the 'Lady Cluck' part... hmmm, decisions, decisions... Aw what the heck, Dawn will play the part

Dawn: I'm playing a CHICKEN!

Paul: That just made my day.

Me: I know, mine too. And, I'm quite sure this story will make Contestshipping fans happy too.

Misty: Um, aren't we NOT supposed to break the fourth wall like in the last story?

Me: What fourth wall? We broke it as soon as we got here.

Misty: Oh dear lord...

Me: Now, let's begin this bad boy...

May: Ahem.

Me: Oh what now?

May: You forgot a couple of parts

Me: If you're referring to Alan- A-Dale, that would be me

May: But you can't be a character...

Me: Shut up!

May: But...

Me: Zip it. If it makes you feel any better, I'll just randomly assign parts as we progress, happy?

May: Fine.

Me: As I was saying...

XXXXXXXXXXX

**Once upon a time, in merry old England, during the time of the Crusades, I might add, there was once a famous thief named Robin Hood...**

Drew: Robin's a girl name..

**It can be a guy name too. However, Robin Hood was no ordinary thief. He robbed the rich to feed the poor, who were getting taxed to no end, kind of like our government today, only we can't exactly 'rob the rich'. We would probably get put in jail...**

Misty: 'Probably?

**Alright, definitely. So, one day, he and his second in command, Little Max...**

Max: Not. Cute

**Yes it is. One day, Robin Hood and Little Max, decided to rob the Prince himself, Prince John. Well, he couldn't exactly run up to the carriage as himself. He would have to make a disguise.**

Drew: I'm not cross dressing.

** It's only for one scene**** Drew. **

Drew: Still not doing it.

**What if I had May give you a kiss?**

Drew: She does that anyways

May: DREW!

Drew: She's actually quite good at it too.

May: DREW!

**I'm not in the mood to hear about your love life right now thank you very much. Well, so much for that incentive. How about I put that video up tonight for you?**

Drew: I could work with that one

Paul: Oh no you don't

**Okay then...**

Gary: Wait, I though Ash usually did the cross dressing?

Ash: Gary, shut up...

Dawn: Ash cross dressed?

Ash: It was only once! I had to do it to get a badge!

Dawn: Riiiiggghhhtt...

Ash: I'm serious!

**Wow, you guys are messed up. So, Robin Hood and Little Max disguised themselves as gypsies in order to steal all of Prince John's cash. They did a pretty darn good job of it too. Even kissed the jewels off of Prince John's rings.**

Brock: I'm not having them kiss my hand.

James: That's just totally wrong

**Is everyone so touchy these days? Heck, they even screwed up the wheels of the carriage too, causing the carriage to careen into the mud. Prince John got so upset that he started sucking his thumb. Remember kids, always have insurance on your vehicles.**

Brock: Not going to happen.

**Good, because it did, I might have to refer you to a therapist. So Robin Hood went on his merry way...Drew act merry.**

Drew: No.

**Fine then, be a loser. So Robin Hood went on his merry way, giving the money to the poor, which also sounds like our,...**

Misty: Ahem, political commentary not allowed, remember?

**Funsucker. Of course, with the constant robbing, Little Max...**

Max: I want to be John.

**Nope sorry, your request has been denied. Little Max proposed an unusual question:... Um, Max your line?**

Max: But I don't wanna! I'll do it once you change my name.

**Okay fine, you're back to little John.**

Max: Alright then. Thanks. 'So are we good guys or bad guys? You know, out robbing the rich to feed the poor?"

**Finally, somebody who actually goes by the script. Drew, your line would be nice right about now...Okay, please, stop flirting with May and get over here...**

Drew: You are absolutely no fun whatsoever.

**It's not that I'm not fun, I would just prefer it if my cast members didn't make out with each other 24/7. I got that aplenty with all of my bus trips**

Drew: '_Rob _is such a naughty word. We only _borrow _a bit from those who can afford it.'

**Thank you, your contributions to this show is most valued.**

Misty: And one of these days, you'll get that sarcasm degree at this rate.

**If only. So the Prince was extremely peeved that he had literally been robbed naked. The pair had even made off with his robes.**

Brock: It's a bit drafty in here

** You'll get it back. So fed up with Robin Hood, Prince John came up with a plan, an evil, totally despicable plan...**

Brock: I'll hold a archery tournament and the prize will be a golden arrow and a kiss from my niece, Maid Marian.

May: I'm your niece now? That's really awkward.

Brock: Imagine how I feel.

Tracey: Quick question

**What?**

Tracey: What does one do with a golden arrow? Is it just a prize to sit on the wall?

Misty: You could beat someone with it. Here let's try it out.

**As much as I like that idea,** **the arrow isn't actually golden, well for this story anyway. I just spray-painted an arrow gold. I'd rather not have it broken before the scene actually starts. ****Robin Hood wanted to enter the tournament, but he realized he couldn't go as himself, again. So he decided to disguise himself as a stork.**

Drew: A what?

** You know, a stork**.

Dawn: Least you aren't playing a chicken

Drew:Good point

**So Robin Hood was a stork while 'Little John', went as a duke, a Duke of Chutney to be exact**

Max: Can I be Duke Nukem?

**He wasn't around then. Robin Hood, disguised, won the tournament quite easily, giving the Sheriff a run for his money.**

Ash: Dang it

**Go pout some where else. Because of this, Prince John knew exactly who he was.**

Brock: No duh

**Prince John then had Robin Hood tied up and was ready to behead the poor dude.**

Drew: I'd rather not reenact that scene thank you very much.

**Me too, it'll mess up the carpet. However, with the help of 'Little John' and the chicken chick...**

Dawn: This day can't get much worse.

...**AND with the help of the pair, Robin Hood escaped, taking Maid Marian with him into the woods. Here May, here's some mace in case Grass Head over there gets a little 'enthusiastic' about his role.**

May: I'll keep that in mind

Ash: Awwwkwaaarrrd...

**And after a night of singing and mocking the Prince... no that does not give you guys to break out into song...Oh dear lord I thought I could prevent this. Please stop this, you're all tone deaf. No, seriously, stop this right now... Aw nuts, now I have to join in too...**.

**(Please Break for a short intermission as the entire cast, including myself, break into song. I'm still selling earplugs from the earlier movie, BTW)**

**(Fifteen minutes later...)**

** Well, that wasn't so bad, but let's not do it again.**

Tracey: You know you want to.

**Um, no not really... **

Misty: I agree with Gwen. I think Gary broke something when he sang...

Gary: Gee thanks...

**Sooo, after that fandango, Prince John got so ticked off, he raised the taxed, forcing many of the villagers to go to jail, including Friar Tuck.**

Tracey: I'm going to jail?

** … And Prince John ordered for Friar Tuck to be hanged.**

Tracey: I'll never be a monk, ever.

** And thank you for that career choice. And of course, Robin Hood had to save his friend. SO the night before Friar Tuck was to be hanged, Robin Hood broke into the jail, releasing all of the prisoners. He even managed to steal from the bags of money from the Prince's bedroom.**

Brock: You were in my bedroom?

Drew: That's what the script says!

** Please, I'd rather not have that mental image haunting my dreams tonight. So Robin Hood saved the day, even though he nearly got killed in the process.**

Drew: Phenomenal

** But that's not the end of the story...**

Ash: It isn't?

Misty: Nope, dang it...

**The real king, King Richard returned and fixed everything up. Here, Gary, I need you to ply King Richard for like three seconds.**

Gary: Um, alright...

**King Richard allowed his daughter, Maid Marian to marry Robin Hood...**

May: I'm marrying Drew?

**According to some fanfics, yes. And King Richard sent Prince John and his cronies, Sir Hiss and the Sheriff, to the Nottingham prison. And they lived happily ever after...The End.**

Max: I still wanted to be Duke Nukem

**First you wanted to be 'Little John', now Duke Nukem? Make up your mind kid, or you'll have serious issues when you grow up...**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

** And that my dear readers is the end of the fourth Disney movie. I apologize if this one wasn't as funny as the others. **

** However on a lighter note, I am issuing a challenge to my viewers. I would love to see fan art (especially a scene of Paul dancing to 'Single Ladies' lol) pertaining to this story so far. I'm being dead serious too. If you guys do it, send me a link and I'll have it posted on my profile. XD. I do have to admit though, I'm an art major, so I might be just a tad picky. The best one will become my avatar XD. So, on your mark, get set,... DRAW!**

**And remember, always tip your waiters, and your authors too... Yes, I see you leaving without a review...**


	5. Total  Pwnage! BooYah!

** Look at me! I'm not dead! Yay! Rejoice you little buggers...lol**

Tracey: You know for a minute there, I really did think you did abandoned this

Gary: I wish

Me: It's called 'finding material'. Ever hear of it?

Brock: Hey, hey, hey! Please, let's not try to kill each other this early.

Me: You're just lucky I don't have something sharp and pointy...

Melody: Ahem, movie, remember?

Me: OH right, that. Okay let's see here according to our fans...

Ash: I have fans?

Misty: _We_ have fans you idiot

Me: I know, it's weird huh? Well, according to our fans, a whole bunch of them want 'The Little Mermaid'.

Drew: I thought you didn't like 'The Little Mermaid' that much.

Me: I don't, but hey, it's the fans, and I would like to keep them thank you very much.

May: Who plays what?

Dawn: Care to take a stab?

May: What?

Dawn: Sarcasm is lost on you today huh?

Me: Play nice. So, the main role will be...um, drum roll please?

Brock: Is it that important to have a drum roll?

Me: Yes, yes it is.

Brock: Well then do it yourself, you play the stupid drums.

Me: Yes, but it's kind of sad when I have to do my own drum roll. Oh well. And the main role is... Dun dun DUNNNNNN! Misty!

Misty: Typecasting much?

Me: I can't help it! You ran around in the mermaid suit twice.

Ash: Wait, when was the other time?

Me: With her Gyarados

Ash: Wait! She did it without me around!

Misty: You've seen it before.

Ash: But I was ten! And I didn't have any hormones!

Gary: _That_ image is going to be burned into my retinas forever.

Me: No kidding. Ash. You're going to play the Prince Eric dude.

Ash: Yay! I'm a prince again!

Me: Gary, I think that one might be added to the lists of things that have been seen cannot become unseen'.

Gary: Totally.

Me: Brock, you're playing the crab, Sebastian. Tracey, the Seagull, 'he-whom-I-have-forgotten-the-name-of.

May: Scuttle

Me: Looks like you have a purpose after all. Max. you're the flounder, named, 'Flounder'...Wow,... I think they ran out of good names when this character came around.

Max: I want a big role!

Me: Stop mutinying. Since we need some old people, Professor Oak, you'll be the King

Professor Oak: Sweet, I have a role...wait did you just insult me?

Me: Age denotes wisdom...Does this mean that I don't get my starter pokemon?

Professor Oak: Probably not

Me: Well, there goes that dream... Now, for the villainess...hmmm

Meowth: cough*Jessie*cough!

Me: She's already been a villainess

Meowth: But she makes a really good one!

James: Totally! And when do I get a nice role in this?

Me: When pigs fly...Wait, don't throw that Swinub! That's cheating!...Okay, now that we've violated who knows how many animal rights laws with that, we really need to find a bad guy...Crap, I've think we ran out of bad guys here...

Misty: Well, that's phenomenal.

Me: Don't rub it in...Hmmm, wait a sec, Dawn, what's your rival's name?

Dawn: Kenny?

Me: No, not the creepy stalker one

Kenny: I'm not a creepy stalker!

Paul: Says you

Me: No, the other one.

Dawn: Who, Ursula?

Me: Bingo! It fits!

Tracey: Please don't dance like that again. You make William Hung like Micheal Jackson

Me: I'm not that bad, honestly... And lastly, James and Meowth will play her sidekicks.

Meowth: How many times will we play sidekicks?

Me: Whenever I say so.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Once upon a time, in the underwater city of Atlantis...**

Gary: Atlantis doesn't exist

May: In the Disney World it does

**You have found your purpose once again May. Remind me to have you as my partner on 'Disney Trivia Pursuit'**

Drew: I already called dibs!

** Ooookay then... Once upon a time in the city of Atlantis, not the resort, by the way, there was once a king named Triton..**.

Professor Oak: BooYah!

**Never again, Professor Oak, never again.**

Gary: Totally Gramps

Professor Oak: Don't make me write you out of my will!

**Ahem. Thank you. The King Triton had seven daughters, whose names I have no clue what they are. I think I'm having memory issues. But he had one daughter named Ariel, who had red hair and blue green eyes, just like our actress. It's nice not having to use our budget for costume stuff. And since she's the only name I can remember, she must be the main character**

Misty: No duh Sherlock

**But of course our little mermaid princess wasn't very happy with living underwater. I wouldn't either if I had to wear that seashell bra. Lord that thing must chafe**

Misty: Finally, someone who understands that!

Daisy: But I, like, totally designed it for you!

Ash: You look hot in it.

Misty: Aaahhhhh!

**Could someone **_**please**_** get her back over here? We kind of need her for the play...**

Brock: Ah! My beautiful Daisy! How your loveliness has grown so much over the years...

Tracey: Dude! Get off my woman!

**Wait a sec, are Brock and Tracey beating the crap out of each other over the Valley girl?**

Dawn: Looks like it.

Paul/Gary/Ritchie/Drew: Tracey! Tracey! Tracey!

**And this movie finally went down the tubes...**

Ash: I got Misty! Jeez Brock, what happened to you?

Brock: Does any one have an ice pack? I think I have a black eye.

Drew: Dude, your whole face is black, or was that already there?

Brock: I'm pretty sure I'm black...

Gary: You're ambiguous, that's what you are

**Who knows? Now we can finally get on with this movie...Ariel wanted to live in the human world, so for a hobby, she would collect** **stuff from shipwrecks. How it wasn't damaged by the saltwater, we'll never know.**

Max: Disney, the world of plot holes, impossibilities and unrealistic romances.

**Touche. Ariel had three friends. A fish named Flounder, a crab named Sebastian, and the seagull, um, May what was its name again?**

May: Scuttle.

** Right, I knew that.**

May: Suuure you did.

**Mostly. But Ariel wanted to live on the surface world with the humans. There isn't that mich great stuff on the surface, so there really wasn't much of a point.**

Barry: We have videogames

**Okay, maybe there **_**is **_**something worth it up here. Sebastian was trying to convince her that it wasn't worth it, thus producing a very catchy song and dance number. And Brock, please don't sing.**

Brock: I hurt too much to sing

Tracey: Good

Dawn: Can I sing?

**Let's not and say we did. We remember what happened last time?**

Dawn: Not particularly

Paul: You shattered glass

Dawn: I did? That's pretty cool

Paul: And a handful of eardrums too

Dawn: Err,...not so cool

**The one day, she and her friends came a across a ship, which was holding a party for their 'Prince Eric'.**

Ash:WOOT! Party!

**Please tell me he's drinking root-beer.**

May: I'm not too sure.

**Freaking. Fantastic. But during the middle of the party, a HUMONGO storm picked up and the prince nearly drowned. If he wasn't drinking, he would have been sober enough to swim. But the Princess Ariel went and saved his drunk royal tush. Misty, go save Ash...**

Misty: This costume's a bit hard to maneuver in on land.

**That's why you're a mermaid. She thought he was dead, so she started to sing to him. That's just borderline creepy.**

Misty: Haven't we already discussed the singing thing? I'm not doing it.

**What if I gave you a dollar?**

Misty: A dollar?

**How about ten?**

Misty: Nope.

**Fine, but I'll get you to sing one of these days. But it turns out he was alive after all, so she fled from him and he vowed that he would find the girl that sang to him**

Ash: But how can I find someone by their voice? Misty didn't even sing at all

**We'll just pretend, it's called having an 'imagination'. She started to grow lovesick over the mysterious prince, worrying her father.**

Misty: Me? Lovesick over Ash? Are you nuts?

** According to fan-fics, you are.**

Misty: Twisted fans.

**Tell me about it. Her father grew worried about her and in the process of figuring out what's wrong, he came across her secret grotto. Talk about obsession.**

Professor Oak: With my magical trident, I shall fix your problems, by destroying them. BooYah!

Gary: Gramps, have you been watching too much MythBusters?

Professor Oak: Possibly

Max: I also think he stole that line from Cyborg from 'Teen Titans'.

**I miss that show, seriously**

Misty: Can we please get on with this? This costume is really, really starting to itch.

**Sorry about that hun. Ariel got so depressed over the whole incident, a pair of eels came along, convincing her that their master could make everything feel better. Wait, maybe I shouldn't have put it in those words...**

May: Pervert.

**Currently ignoring you. The evil eels led Ariel to the lair of their boss**

Meowth/James: We're luring you to the lair! We're luring you to the lair!

**Wow that was creepy on so many levels. There at the lair, their boss, named Ursula, whom conveniently, is the name of the actual actress playing this role...**

Usrula: Do I get paid for this?

** No. Ursula offered her a deal. Ariel would get herself a pair of legs, while Ursula would get her voice.**

Ursula: Why do I want her voice?

**IDK. Ariel agreed and Ursula gave her legs, while Ursula got her voice**

Ursula: Seriously, why do I get it?...

**Look, I have no idea, okay? You should be grateful. Misty's the only one around here who can actually sing. Of course, if she wanted to keep her legs, she would have to kiss the Prince within three days.**

Ash: I like that idea

** Let's not demonstrate that shall we? Ariel ended up on the surface, where she conveniently ran into Prince Eric. He brought her to his castle and she stayed there. And within three days, they fell in love. Like I said, how convenient... Unfortunately, mostly due to the movie ending if she did it, the pair failed to kiss.**

Brock: Dude, that bombs.

Ash: Tell me about it. I thought I was going to have another kissing scene already

**Oh jeez Ash, you'll get it. Ursula didn't want Ariel to win on the deal so she turned herself into someone pretty, that must have been a load of magic right there...**

Dawn: Amen Sister!

**...AND convinced the Prince to marry her, instead of Ariel.**

Ash: There is NO way I'm marrying her!

Brock: Even I wouldn't marry her.

Gary: That's harsh coming from the man who can never get the chick.

Drew: Ouch

Misty: Yeah, sorry Ursula, you aren't marrying Ash. He's booked

Ash: With what?

**Really Ash, really? Ariel was determined to stop the wedding, so she hired the seagull to sabotage the wedding.**

Tracey: I'm trashing the wedding!

Ursula: MY DRESS!

Tracey: Ha! My task has been completed!

**Which is why we don't assign you roles that go along the destructive bent. Triton got wind of what was happening and went to go rescue her**

Professor Oak: BooYah!

**Of course, he got completely pwned by Ursula in the process**

Professor Oak: Well, that sucks

**During the whole pwning scene, Ursula turned into an ugly sea hag...**

Misty: Ewwwww...

**Then Prince As-I mean, Prince Eric, came to rescue, stabbing her in the gut with a ship.**

Ash: Do I really get to do that?

Ursula: touch me and you die!

Drew: Wow, you would get along great with Harley...

Harley: I heard that!

**Now with Ursula dead...**

Dawn: Ding Dong! The witch is dead!

Paul: Wrong movie

Dawn: So?

**Yeah man, who cares? And now with Ursula dead, Ariel got her voice back and her father permanently gave her legs**

Professor Oak: I love having a magical trident

Gary: Gramps, it's not really magical

Professor Oak: Do you want to get beaten with it? Besides, I was merely enjoying the role

Brock: A bit too much

**And Ariel and The Prince got married, living happily ever after. At least, until the crappy sequel came out.**

Misty: Totally

Ash: Now can we kiss?

Misty: Eh, not in the mood

**You just got burned! And remember, join us next time for another installment!...Wow, I sound like a TV announcer... Remember kiddies, a review a day keeps the doctor away. You probably haven't fulfilled your daily allotment, so do it here!...Please? **


	6. If the Shoe Fits, Don't Wear It

Me: So many requests, so little time

May: Yeah, why aren't you doing their requests?

Me: Seriously. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find the right couple for a movie? More difficult than it looks

Brock: Didn't have any trouble with the last one

Misty: That's because it was stereotyping

Me: Blame Walt Disney!

Tracey: Actually, we came after the movie.

Me: Touche

Ash: I'm bored

Me: Congrats. Soo... the movie this time will be Cinderella.

Gary: Really? That's like the most boring Disney movie ever!

Me: I'm saving the best ones for last.

Gary: Oh.

Me: Alright, now, the role of Cinderella goes to, hmmm, Misty, which one of your sisters is the Blond Ditz?

Misty: Daisy

Daisy: Hey!

Me: Perfect. Tracey, you're the Prince

Tracey: About time I got a decent role

Ash: Should we tell him that the story's centered around Cinderella?

Me: Do you want to face his wrath? He saw how he beat the snot out of Brock.

Ash: I totally forgot

Brock: I still hurt

Me: Stop complaining! You got medical insurance, so use it!

Brock: It's actually dental

Me: Really? Huh...whoopsies. Now, on to the other roles. The other ditzy, sisters whom I always get their names mixed up..you'll play the ugly stepsisters.

Lily: Hey! We aren't, like, ugly!

Violet: Yeah, like totally

Misty: You should see them in the morning...waking up with the gag reflex is not the best thing in the morning.

Me: Man you're harsh. I think you have some family issues to work out...

Misty: You think?

Me: Gary, you'll play Tracey's sidekick. Ash, Brock, you'll play the talking mice, or more correctly, the voice actors for the talking mice...

Ash: You're the fat one. I call dibs on the skinny one

Brock: Will not!

May: So they'll be like Dan Green then?

Me: Hun, no one can top Dan Green... And I think that's everyone..Oh wait, not the fairy godmother. Hmmm, Aha! Jessie will be the fairy godmother

May: Shouldn't she be the ugly stepsister instead?

Misty: Totally

Jessie: Why you little...

Me: Wow, you really don't like each other, do you?

Misty: I kept falling into their stupid holes for most of my pubescent life, it got really, _really_ annoying after a while...

Jessie: Well, I can't help the fact that you were gullible enough to fall into them!

Misty: Well, at least I can actually catch pokemon, instead of just trying, and failing miserably, to catch a single, LOUSY PIKACHU!

Ash: Hey! Pikachu's not lousy!

Me: Ash, I would suggest that you not get involved in this one

Gary: Better idea. Let's just leave the premises

Paul: Ooh, Gary's using big words.

Me: Play nice. And I like Gary's idea...let's flee

Brock: But I wanna watch the chick fight!

(Please excuse the fifteen minute intermission as we all flee the vicinity of the war between Misty and Jessie. Place your bets.)

Fifteen minutes later...

James: I think you're going to need a new fairy godmother and possibly a new girlfriend for Ash

Ash: She looks okay to me

James: I don't mean it that way.

Ash:...Oohhhh...Wait...

Gary: Congrats, he gets the insult

Me: But James does have a point. Lesson learned: Never, under any circumstances, tick off Misty.

Ash: We knew that from Day One

Me: I'm just reiterating it

Tracey: Too many big words! Aahhh!

May: Who's playing the evil stepmother?

Me: Oh for the love of Cheese! Fine, you'll be the evil stepmother! James, you're the new fairy godmother! GAAAAAHHHHHHHH! You making me mental!

James: Do I have to wear a dress?

Meowth: Jimmy, you crossed-dressed all the way up to the Hoenn season. Then it got politically correct

Tracey: Actually I would be more concerned with the director running off the stage...ranting and raving about something...Whoops, there she goes through the exit door, wait, scratch that. She ran _into _the door.

Me: I'm okay,... I think

Misty: With no narrator, does this mean we don't have to do this anymore?

Gary: I'll do the narrating!

Drew: Oh Ho-Oh save us all. I have a much more sexy voice over than you.

Gary: Actually, I do

Drew: Hey, I have more fangirls!

May: Look Drew! You finally have a line!

Gary: I feel emasculated by a guy with green hair and a pokemon that's a walking bouquet...

Drew: Ha! Now, to start narrating...Wait, where's the script?

Max: I think Gwen had it with her before she went criminally insane.

May: She's not criminally insane

Harley: She will be hun. She will be

Max: That sounded really creepy from you. Never do it again.

Drew: Can I have the BLOODY SCRIPT!

Tracey: Drew, you're just going to have to make it up..

Drew: Oh, I can work with that... Ahem...

XXXXXXXXXX

**Drew: Once upon a time...**

Gary: Enough with that stupid phrase already!

**Drew: Go back in a corner you emasculated professor wanna be! With less fangirls!**

Gary: Hey Gwen likes me!

Ash: That's disturbing..

Brock: Aye

**Drew: ONCE UPON A TIME... there was this old man who had a daughter named um, Cinderella...**

Brock: Congrats, you know her name...hey, no middle finger!

Daisy: Here I am!

Melody: And let the blond jokes commence.

**Drew: Well, this man decided to remarry, after his first wife died. He felt that his daughter need a mother, so he married this chick, who had two daughters, who have really ugly names and facial features!**

Lily: Here we are!

Violet: Yeah, I thought this was, like, a water show!

Misty: Are we _sure_ that I'm related to them?

Brock: Positive.

**Drew: But then the old man died, probably from being married to the shrew...**

May: I'm not a shrew thank you very much.

**Drew: It's the _play_ babe.**

May: Oh, alright then. I thought you were making a point..

**Drew: And because of some legal issues, Cinderella became the legal daughter of the stepmother. Do any of these stepmothers have any sort of name, for Lugia's sake? It's kind of tiring after a while just saying 'stepmother' or 'evil stepmother'. Seriously,.. So after becoming legally adopted, her life became a living-**

Tracey: No language!

**Drew: What do you care? Any way, Cinderella's life officially sucked. She had to do all the cleaning, the laundry, the cooking, and she didn't even get an allowance for it. I think that breaks some child labor laws in the process...**

Daisy: Do I really have to reenact this part?

Misty: Keep working!

Daisy: I swear, this is Misty's job, or like something...

Misty: Now you know how I feel...

Melody: Can I do a blond joke now?

Brock: Later. I got some good ones too...

**Drew: But she wasn't so lonely, for she had some magical talking animal friends...Seriously, who WRITES this crap? Were they on an acid trip when they wrote the script for this?**

Max: I don't think she knows they can talk..

**Drew: Well, I sure would notice... Then I'll let my Flygon have a free lunch..**

Flygon: Flygon, Fly!

Ash: Why is it looking at Pikachu that way?

**Drew: I think she likes Pikachu**

Tracey: Yeah, for lunch.

**Drew: Moving on from that topic...**

Ash: Wait, I actually think that Flygon wants to eat Pikachu.

**Drew: Fine, I'll put her back in her ball. So one day, while she was cleaning, an important meeting was taking place... In the Royal Palace, the king was discussing the fate of his son, who needed to get married, really, really soon...Oh shoot, Gwen didn't assign any parts for the King. Uh, Harley, you can play the king...**

Harley: Faaabulous!

Tracey: Wait, the Fruit of the Loon is playing my dad?

**Drew: Well, you both have green..ish sort of hair.**

Harley: Come here!

Tracey: You know, I would prefer it if you _didn't _get into your role that much. People will think you're the green haired Micheal Jackson or something..

**Drew: So the King and his adviser, um, Gary? You can come out now.**

Gary: I still have fangirls, I still have fangirls...

Ash: He's in the fetal position in the corner.

**Drew: He's off his rocker. Okay, we'll just go on without him. So the king and the adviser decided to host a ginormous ball, inviting every girl in the city... Whoa, that's a lot of women..**

May: Ahem.

**Drew: I meant for Tracey! Cinderella and her family heard about it and they were going to. Well, except for Cinderella, because like I said before, her life sucks. And she has all the makings of a Mary-Sue. Cinderella wanted to go to, but she had no dress. So, all her little animal friends made her dress for her. **

Ash: I'm making a dress?

Brock: And we are now fashion designers...Maybe we can get on that show with Heidi Klum in it...Mmmmm, Heidi Klum...

Ash: Never again, Brock. Never again.

Max: I'd rather not suffer from nightmares.

Tracey: Yes, bu at this rate, you're going to need a therapist by the time your sixteen

**Drew: I'd like to get this movie finished before the next century starts... But the supplies the animals used were actually parts from the stepsisters's dresses. Furry little kleptomaniacs... The sisters got so mad, they ripped Cinderella's dress to shreds...**

Drew/Tracey/Brock: CATFIGHT!

Misty: Oh my,...**  
Drew: So Cinderella started crying, and lo and behold, her fairy godmother appeared...**

James: Ta-Dah!

Max: Aarrrgh! My eyes! They're burning!

Tracey: What has been seen, cannot become unseen..

Ash: True dat.

Meowth: Never talk like that again

**Drew: Wow James, wow... So the fairy godmother gave Cinderella a big blue dress...**

Daisy: This isn't my color.

**Drew: And turned a pumpkin into a carriage, along with turning the mice into horses.**

Ash: And here I thought the humiliation couldn't get any worse...

Misty: I still have that bridle

**Drew: BUT, the godmother had one stipulation...**

James: What, I don't get to sing?

**Drew: No, Cinderella had to return before midnight, or the spell would be broken. So Cinderella went off, and she caught the attention of the Prince...**

Tracey: Humina- humina-humina...

Misty: That's so wrong on so many levels...

Melody: Well, think of it this way, when you and Ash get married, and Daisy and Tracey get married, you'll be one big happy family...

Misty: Uh-huh—Wait, what? Ah! No, jeez Melody you sick perv.

Ash: I like that idea...

**Drew: Now I know exactly what Gwen goes through. And the Prince went loco over her, asking her to dance,... talk about shallow... Cue romantic music!... Um, can we cue the romantic music?**

" _**Rah-rah ah-ah-ah! Ro-mah-ro-mah-mah! Gaga Ooh-la-la! Want your Bad Romance!... Rah-rah..."**_

**Drew: Wait a sec, this isn't the romantic song that went with the movie, who's doing the DJ stuff?**

Ash/Gary: Um, hey?

**Drew: Really guys, Really?**

Gary: That's what you get for being a total jerkwad earlier!

**Drew: Real mature!**

Paul: ...I want your loving, I want your revenge, You and me could write a Bad Romance...

Dawn: OMG! OMG! Paul's singing Lady Gaga!

Paul: I was, I was.. I was not!

Dawn: You were too!

Misty: I got it on me phone! This is going right onto YouTube

Paul: Gimme that cell!

Misty: You are not touching my phone you emotastic freak!

**Drew: As Gwen would say, please excuse this second interval because of the fact that Misty is beating the crap out of Paul,...with her phone. And because 4Kids has taken over pokemon, we cannot show the scene to you, even though we really want to.**

Ten minutes later..

Paul: I need a medic

Misty: I need a new cell phone...

**Drew: And I need a new job. So, after the romantic scene, which we're skipping due to the moronic DJ's, the clock struck twelve and Cinderella had to leave as fast as she could, but she left a glass slipper behind, which I completely forgot to mention in the last chapter.**

Daisy: Like, who would totally wear a glass shoe? It's like, completely uncomfortable, and would like, totally hurt...

Harley: You suck as a narrator.

**Drew: Shut up. And with the glass slipper in hand, the Prince vowed to find the mysterious girl. Once the girls heard about it, they all lined up to try on the shoe, but none of them fit. What's the chances of that happening?**

Max: Can I figure it out? I have a calculator...

**Drew: Um, let's not... When Cinderella's sisters heard about it, they lined up for it too. However, to keep Cinderella from trying it on, the evil stepmother locked her in the attic.**

May: but that's mean! Why would I do that?

**Drew: *sigh* The mice went to rescue her, stealing the key.**

Ash: Duh dun dut dah! Dun duh dunnnn!

Brock: Ash, please stop singing the theme song to 'Indiana Jones'..

**Drew: The mice rescued her and she went downstairs. However, to prevent trying the slipper on, the stepmother tripped the guy with the shoe, which broke the shoe... Lesson learned: Women, don't buy glass shoes, or let little short guys carry them. Either one could work really.**

May: Oh no! I'm so sorry about that!

**Drew: Of course, being the heroine, Cinderella had the second shoe, which she conveniently saved. Realizing they were a match, Cinderella and the Prince got married, living happily ever after...**

Daisy: Oh Prince. Kiss me!

Tracey: Sweet!

Max: Ahh! My retinas! They're burning again!

May: Okay, how about next time, we keep it a 'PG', um-kay?

Me: Hey, sorry about that...so what did I miss?

**Drew: The whole movie.**

Me: Really?

Dawn: Yeah, why do you think his text's in bold

Me: YOU were the narrator?

**Drew: Yep**

May: He was a good one too...

Me: Oh that's just great, I think I'm out of a job

Misty: You can always just do the announcing thingy at the end...

Me: Oh gee, that makes me feel _loads _better... Well, tune in next time... Wait, AAAHHH! I'm doing it!

Misty: At least you have a job!

**And remember, always tip your authors! It gives them something to look forward too, especially if they don't get paychecks...What?**

PS: Give credit to Kissy Fishy for the Bad Romance idea. She wanted a scene with the song somehow incorporated in it, so voila! She got it! So thank her because it was probably the funniest scene in the whole story. And read her story too 'The Legend Of the Sky Cat'. It's very epic, with lots of action and the right balance of romance, pervy teenaged humor, and plot twists. It's on my 'favorite' list


	7. THis Is TOLDEO

**In case you haven't noticed, the more material I have, aka, the longer the fic, the funnier the story is...and this one's gonna be long folks**

Me: Okay, today, we're going to try to do something completely different!

Melody: Would that constitute _not _doing a movie?

Me: Well, we're still doing a movie-

Tracey: I'm gravely disappointed

Me: BUT, it's not Disney.

May: What? No Disney?

Drew: Babe, did you not just hear her?

May: It's called a 'rhetorical' question.

Max: Somebody didn't pass their English class...

Drew: I've been running around the world competing...Course I didn't take any classes...

Brock: Looks like Hoenn's education is going down the drain

Me: Can we get off on the school thing? It makes my brain hurt.

Misty: That would explain a lot.

Ash: Wait, what's this 'different movie'?

Me: 300! Mwahahahahahahahaha!

Dawn: Somebody needs to lay off the laughing gas...

Paul: Seriously? 300? Finally, something good.

Me: Eh, just thought I would try something different. Here Ash, you're Leonidas. Brock, you're the other guy. Let's do a quick run through.

Misty: That's different.

Gary: Yeah, she's actually trying to make something decent.

Me: I heard that!.

Ash: Sweet! It's my favorite line in the whole movie! Here, you can have the script back. I got this one.

Misty: This can't end well.

Paul: Nope.

Brock: Ahem... 'This is madness!' Wow, that felt good not playing some pansy minor role for once.

Gary: And not getting beat up..

Brock: Yeah...wait, what?

Ash: Alrighty then... 'This is...errr,... ummm,...this is...Awww, son of a...

Gary: Try Toledo

Dawn: Or Cleveland!

Me: Stop antagonizing him! Okay forget this, hand the scripts back, we aren't doing 300...

Ash: But I got the line! 'This... is... SPARTA!'

Paul: A bit late there 'Loseridas'

Sammy: Hey, sorry I'm late! I got the script...wait, why is Ash running in a Spartan helmet and cape?

Me: You don't want to know Sammy...

Sammy: You're right. I really, really don't

Max: Wait, who's this?

Me: Oh! I totally forgot! This is my co-host, Sammy, aka, Kissy Fishy.

Brock: Oh Sammy, she who is wise and creative and... Ergk!

Misty: Man, do you have any idea how good it feels pulling on your ear again?...

Brock: Frankly, it feels like...Ow! Jeez woman! Stop being so violent! Ow!

Sammy: He does know that I'm in high school still, right?

Me: Nah, I don't think so...

Sammy: Man you have a twisted crowd.

Ash: I got a question.

Me: Ash, you don't need to raise your hand. And can you take off that Spartan helmet now? What did you do, steal it from the 'Deadliest Warrior' set?

Ash: Can we call her 'Fishy'?

Sammy: No.

Ash: Please? It'll be so cool!

Sammy: Are you deaf? I said no.

Misty: It's Ash, remember?

Sammy: Right.

Ash: Here, Fishy fishy fishy...

Gary: FISHY!

Sammy: Stop calling me Fishy or I'll kill off Misty again!

Misty: What?

Me: Fan fiction boundaries, remember?

Sammy: It was the only way to get him to shut up.

Me:...Brilliant! I have to use that sometime!

Misty: I don't like where this is going...

Me: Oh, you got the script?

Sammy: Yep. Wanna see it?

Me: Sure, why not? Usually I just wing it with these things

Dawn: That would explain so much, and yet so little.

Me: Alright, so here's the plan...

Ash: Why are they whispering? It's so much harder to eavesdrop on people if they're whispering...

Brock: Well, why don't see send Pikachu over there to check it out.

Ash: Good idea!

_( five minutes later)_

Ash: Well, what did you hear?

Pikachu: Pika, pik, pika chu, chu pik chu...Pikachu...

Dawn: So much for that plan

Paul: Do I seriously hang out with a bunch of idiots?

Tracey: Maybe you should have sent Meowth instead

Drew: I think they're done now anyways

May: Why do they have maniacal grins on their faces?

Me: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! MWHAHAHA...caff,...cough...hack!

Sammy: Lozenge?

Me: Thank you. Sammy, would you like to do the honors

Sammy: With great pleasure...For tonight's movie, we're going to be doing...

Tracey: Um, movie?

Sammy: Hold on, I'm creating a dramatic pause...Just a sec, one moment...Aladdin!

Max: So much for the climatic

Sammy: Don't make me...er, think of a violent act to inflict on you in my story!

May: It's official, we have totally and utterly destoryed fourth wall with a nuke...

Me: I don't recall a nuke...

Sammy: Figure of speech... Can we go on with the role call

Me: I swear I don't remember a nuke. I would have known if there was a nuke...

Sammy: Okay fine! I'm doing the role call. James, you're Aladdin.

James: Yippeeeeee! No more minor roles for me! It's off the the big lights of Broadway!

Brock: I don't feel like crushing the guy's dreams, do you?

Tracey: Nope

Drew: Let's draw straws.

Me: Nuke...hmmmm...

Sammy: Jessie, you're the princess.

Jessie: About time for my look and charm to finally take the stage.

May: She totally ruined this movie for me

Max: No kidding. You used to really like this movie. I remember you dressing as...Mmmphf!

Drew: Wait, you cosplayed?

May: It's not cosplaying if it's Disney! It was for Halloween!

Tracey: Tell that to the Kingdom Hearts fangirls

Brock: Fangirls! Where?

Sammy: No wonder I inflicted serious injury on you... Alright, now for the genie...um.

Max: Cough*me*cough!

May: Don't be silly Max!

Sammy: AHA! Paul's the genie!

Paul: Come again?

Dawn: You're the genie! That's so awesome!

Paul: Then again, maybe I could live with being the genie...

Tracey: Awwwww, young love...

Gary: Actually, it's more along the lines of gag reflex

Ash: How can Paul be the genie? He's not even funny.

Paul: I can be funny if I wanted to, I just don't want to...

Barry: Except when Dawn mentions it.

Paul: Errrrr...

Sammy: I can make the casting! I HAVE. THE. POWER!

Me: Um, you share that power

Sammy: Huh, oh right.

Me: It's okay. You'll get power trips a lot if you're the director.

Sammy: I noticed.

Me: you got the other ones?

Sammy: Just about. Gary's gonna be the bad guy, while Ash is his sidekick.

Gary: But I want to be the good guy

Drew: Stop whining you petulant child!

Brock: But you're a sorcerer. You have powers

Gary: I do? Sweet!

Me: It's like bribing a puppy with doggie treats...

Sammy, which makes it that much easier.

Me: Amen, sister. Amen. What about the rug and monkey?

Sammy: Well, Tracey could be the rug, and Meowth could be the monkey

Meowth: What! I ain't being no Mankey!

Me: Monkey. Mon-key. Not 'Mankey'.

Meowth: Same diff.

Me: Okay, I think that's everybody. Let's get this party started. And no Ash, that does not give you the excuse to sing that. And will you please take off that stupid helmet? You remind me of a frat boy.

Sammy: I'll start this off while Gwen's prying off the helmet. I think she wants it for herself...

XXXXXXXXXXX

**Sammy: Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Agrabah, a man waited for another... He was a tall skinny man, with...**

Me: You don't have to be so dramatic with it.

**Sammy: Hey! Who's narrating here! Well, as I was saying BEFORE I was so RUDELY interrupted, the skinny man's name was Jafar, who's actually Gary. Gary, um I think that's costume's a bit big on you...**

Gary: Tell me about it

**Sammy: Gwen, you really need a better wardrobe for these guys**

Harley: That's what I've been saying!

Me: Is everybody against me today!

Misty: If I said yes, would that make you feel better?

Me: No not particularly.

Misty: Can I say it anyways? It'll make me feel better.

**Sammy: I'm never co-hosting again. As Jafar waited...**

Me: Cue 'Jeopardy' music

**Sammy: AS JAFAR waited, another man showed up. Gwen, we didn't pick this role up.**

Me: But he dies anyways. Err, how about Barry?

Barry: Awesome! I got a role...wait, I die?

Me: Sammy, is it okay if I lie to him

**Sammy: Let's not and say we did.**

Barry: Can I have a different role then?

**Sammy: Um, no. So Jafar( in a particularly awesome hat, I might add) sent the other guy in this cave, and he promptly got eaten by the cave...tasty. Well, in case you were wondering-**

Melody: Not really

**Sammy: The cave ate him because he wasn't worthy of being in the cave. Talk about rejection.**

Barry: I wanted a better...GAAAHHHHHH!

May: Did the backdrop just eat him?

Me: Nope, he fell over the stage.

Barry: I think I broke something

Brock: Be a man! Walk it off!

**Sammy: Can I please continue this?**

Me: Uh, sure, why not?

**Sammy: Now, we pan over to the streets of Agrabah, where we see our young hero being chased by a bunch of thugs, I mean, palace guards. Wow, they don't make them like they used to...**

James: _'Gotta keep, ahead of the breadline. One swing, ahead of the sword...'_****

Meowth: Jimmie, this ain't Broadway.

Me: let's just keep the sexually ambiguous man happy, um-kay?

Meowth: But I was positive that he was straight.

Me: Sammy, keep rolling

**Sammy: Alright, after the chase scene, we find ourselves at the palace, home of the Sultan and his daughter, who just rejected another suitor. Brock, you play the suitor.**

Brock: But I don't want to

Jessie: Can we get on with this please?

_(Five minutes later...)_

Brock: Wait, did Seviper use 'Poison Fang' on me?

Jessie: Tee hee hee. I always wanted to do that.

Brock: But that's just...oooohhhhh...

**Sammy: I think he's drooling.**

Drew: ...Medic!

**Sammy: So, the princess, tired of being stuck at the palace, ran away one night, into the streets, where she ran into Aladdin and his monkey cohort**

Meowth: I ain't no monkey!

Ash: We get it Meowth.

James: Nice costume Jessie, you look, err,...

Meowth: For the love oh Ho-Oh, will you just spill it?

James:...hot...

Jessie: Why thank you.

Max: Can I vomit now?

May: Bathroom's that way.

Jessie: You look good in those poofy pants too by the way

James: Er, thanks?

Jessie: They make you look hot.

Drew: Awwwwwkward...

Brock: The poofy pants are courtesy of M. C. Hammer.

Ash: Stop! Hammer Time!...Can't touch this!

Misty: My boyfriend's an idiot.

**Sammy: But, the princess was caught by the palace guards, sent by Jafar, because according to the plot, it's a part of an elaborate scheme that doesn't get full realized until later...**

Me: You got it now!

Gary: I'm bad, and I know it! I'm bad, and I'll show it!

Ash: I have to be sidekick to _this _guy?

Gary: Just like old times.

**Sammy: Well, it turns out...**

Tracey: Wow, she's really good at ignoring our random tangents. Gwen, you need to learn from her

Me: La la la la! I can't hear you! La la la la!

**Sammy: Well, it turns out Aladdin was the only to enter the cave without being eaten**

James: That doesn't make me feel very special.

**Sammy: So disguised, Jafar helped Aladdin break free and convince the princess that he had beheaded Aladdin...**

Ash: When do I get a say in the evil plot.

Gary: You're the sidekick, you don't.

Ash: I hate this job...

Me: Suck it up Ash.

**Sammy: You guys are nuts. So that very night, the three sneaked out to the cave, where Jafar convinced him to go down in there.**

James: But I don't want to...

Gary: Oh for the love of Ho-Oh, will you go down there?

James: But I don't wan-IIIEEEEEEEEEE!

**Sammy: Did you just push Jame-err, 'Aladdin' down the staircase?**

Gary: Maybe

Ash: Nope.

Me: High Five dudes!

**Sammy: ...wow... So, as Aladdin and the monkey were down there, they came across a magic carpet, who became their friend..**

Me: Sammy, there is no carpet...

**Sammy: Gwen, look at the cast**

Ash: The carpet is a lie!

Me: Ash, no more pop culture references from you today. You filled your quota...Wait, Sammy you're right, there is a carpet. Tracey, get on stage

Ash: So the carpet is _not _ a lie?

**Sammy: I swear I'm going to go insane...**

Me: That's okay, we're already there

**Sammy: Ahem. So as I was saying, during the expedition, Aladdin came across a magic lamp and grabbed it...**

Meowth: Shinnyyy...

**Sammy: But during the process, the monkey stole a humongo gem and the cave started to collapse**

Meowth: What? I'm Team Rocket, I'm supposed to steal.

James: Less stealing, more running!

May: Wait a sec, Aladdin didn't scream like a little girl

Dawn: But James would.

**Sammy: Unfortunately though, while trying to escape, Jafar gave them the boot, and stole the lamp...jerk**

Gary: Being a villain is awesome! I always wanted to do that!

**Sammy: Unbeknownst to Jafar though, the monkey stole the lamp back, but now Aladdin and the others were stuck in the cave.**

Tracey: Do I even get a line in this?

Paul: You're the carpet, you don't get to speak.

Ash: It's a mime!

Misty: Ash, don't be an idiot.

**Sammy: Frustrated, Aladdin started to rub the lamp and all of the sudden, a genie appeared in a flash of purple smoke!**

Me: 'Purple'?

**Sammy: Paul has purplish hair.**

Me: But the last time we tried to distinguish people's hair color, I gave Harley purple hair...

Harley: I SO did not appreciate that by the way.

**Sammy: Dude, you can't even get their hair colors right? Wow, so in a puff of smoke, the genie appeared.**

Paul: Ta-dah!

Me: OMG, we just crossed the OOC border

Paul: I can sometimes have fun

Tracey: Pfh, never.

Paul: Shut up carpet! Any way, so how about it kiddo? You released me, so you get three wishes, three wishes for one time only. Then *POOF*! No more, no less.

Dawn: I think a part of my soul died from happiness

Me: As did hundreds of Paul's fangirls.

**Sammy: Say ta-ta to the OOC border, it's far off in the distance now. So, Aladdin managed to trick the genie into freeing them from the cave**

Paul: Well that sucks

James: Hah! I beat the twerp! Now for my first wish...

Meowth: How about food? Because the catering sucks

James: Food sounds good...

Me: That's not part of the script!

James: Oh...

**Sammy: However, Aladdin decided to turn himself into a prince, with the genie's help of course...**

Paul: Now, to make you a prince!

Me: Gah! MY BRAIN! It's like watching matter and antimatter collide, but nothing's exploding.

**Sammy: Well, the genie then sat up this huge elaborate parade to impress the princess. Needless to say it didn't go very well...**

Jessie: This has to be the crappiest parade I've ever seen

James: Hey! Don't be ungrateful!

Paul: Um, I set this whole thing up remember?

Meowth: Hey, where's the food?

**Sammy: Later. Thankfully, that very same night, Aladdin, under the guise of the prince, went up to the princess's room and took her on this magic carpet ride. I want a magic carpet. It would make me feel closer to my Arab roots.**

Tracey: Promise me we won't reenact that scene.

**Sammy: Don't worry, unlike your _other _author, I'm actually nice.**

Me: I'm nice! Sometimes...

**Sammy: After the magic ride, our lovely little couple shared a magical kiss on the balcony.**

Meowth: Well, go on Jimmy. Do it already!

James: But...

Jessie: Do you really want to see me ticked?

James: God point

May: Max, shield your eyes.

Max: From wha—AH! MY eyes!

Brock: We need to learn from this by now.

Misty: And we never do. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm getting some brain bleach to purge this from my head.

Gary: We could paint the kid's shades black.

Me: Oh jeez.

Jessie: Hey, we have to go through every time you guys suck face.

**Sammy: You seriously suffer from ADD**

Me: A chicken!

**Sammy: But it sucked for Aladdin because after that nauseating kiss, he was kidnapped by Jafar's goons.**

James: Hi-yah! You can't beat me

Meowth: 'Cept Chuck Norris

**Sammy: But the genie was there to help him out, even though it cost him a wish.**

Paul: Holy crap! How reliant are you guys on me?

Dawn: Well, maybe if you were nice, maybe you could rescue him _without _using a wish.

Paul: Look, it's part of the script, alright?

Tracey: Can I say-

Meowth/Paul/James: NO.

Tracey: * (curse word has been edited for the audience. Please imagine some other curse word there instead. We thank you for your time)

**Sammy: So, rescued, Aladdin tried to arrest Jafar, but he failed. Sucks to be him. Jafar managed to steal the lamp and therefore, took power of the genie**

Ash: Ha ha ha! I finally get to be a bad guy, and actually have a line

Paul: Jeez, how many times are you going to call me—oh. It's the professor wannabe and 'Loseridas'.

Ash: Hey! I remembered that line thank you very much.

Me: AFTER you failed tragically.

Ash: Don't remind me

Paul: Can I refuse to work for you two morons? I really don't want my cosmic powers in your hands

Gary: According to the magical contract...uh, no.

Paul: * (second curse word has been edited here. Please insert one of your choice and try again later. I oughta start renting this space out to sponsors)

May: I'm bringing earplugs to the next movie.

Me: Hey, I'm still selling from 'Sleeping Beauty', if you want to buy

**Sammy: Can I continue?**

Me: Maybe.

**Sammy: I'm never doing this again. So, when Jafar gained super powers thanks to the genie,**

Paul: Not willingly

**Sammy: Aladdin was essentially screwed six ways to Tuesday**

James: I appreciate the encouragement.

**Sammy: You're welcome. So Aladdin had to steal the lamp in order to set things right, because he royally screwed up. Thankfully, the princess Jasmine caught on and so to help him, she tried to seduce Jafar... I'm totally grossed out by now.**

Me/Misty/Ash/ The rest of the cast: In three, two, one...Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww...

Gary: I don't want to be a bad guy any more. Here Ash, you can be the bad guy now

Ash: But I don't wanna!

Gary: Here, we'll flip for it.

**Sammy: Sorry, no change. Maybe rock, paper, scissors...wait, what am I saying, I'm supposed to be narrating!**

Drew: Congrats, you noticed the obvious.

**Sammy: Shut up. Well, the 'seduction' thing didn't work and Jafar got really really ticked and turned into a snake, to kill and eat Aladdin. **

Gary: Rawr

Paul: Go Aladdin go!

Dawn: I'm totally seeing a new side of Paul...

Kenny: Um, hello? I'm still here!

Dawn: Oh, it's you.

**Sammy: Eventually, Aladdin tricked him and defeated Jafar by turning him into a genie and-why am I telling these guys? They know the ending.**

Me: I dunno

**Sammy: And after being rescued, Jasmine and Aladdin got together finally, even though they didn't get married until the third movie. Which makes no sense whatsoever and...**

Melody: We get it.

**Sammy: Fine, I'm going to do some editing. And they got married and lived happily ever after. The End. Yay! Rocketshipping exists!**

Melody: Why is she dancing?

Me: It's Sammy, who knows?

**Sammy: Can I do the credits?**

Me: Sure, why not?

**Sammy: I don't forget don't give us reviews! We love reviews! And especially on mine! And you can even vote for the ending on my profile!**

Me: Hey Sammy?

Sammy: What?

Me: Have you found that nuke yet?

**Sammy: *sigh*, no Gwen, there was no nuke.**

Me: Really? Huh, so what was I looking for the whole time?

Ash: The nuke is a lie!

Misty: Stop the stupid reference!

**Sammy: Wow...Well, tune in for the next episode of 'Pokemon Does Disney'!**

Me: Misty, have you seen...

**Note from Gwen: Yes, for those who are wondering, Kissy Fishy is my cohost for this chapter. She is an awesome person and author and wicked shmart too :). For those who haven't read 'The Legend of The Sky Cat' are really missing out, seriously. It's almost finished to, which makes me sad because it's the end of an awesome fic. But if I really need to, I'll read it again XD. So this chapter was a collab between the pair of us, and I learned that DOCx is a total pain in the neck, so this might not be happening again.**

** And on another note, I too have an epic fic out. It's called 'Revival' and it puts a whole new spin on the 'pokemon resurrection' theme. It has both Poke- and Contest-, so it should satisfy you shippers out there lolz. Go check it out and leave reviews. Reviews are like candy to me, and I've been horribly deprived of candy lately. Get the picture :)?**


	8. Exploding MarySues, if only

**Oh, I feel wretched, just so you know. While in the midst of writing the next story, 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'/ 'Beauty and the Beast, this movie popped up and decided to take everything, kind of like the Huns in this upcoming story. So, I had too... I'm Sorry!**

**One the other hand, I have declared myself the humor goddess of the Pokemon fandom...worship me...NAO. At the very least, sacrifice some Mary-Sues in my name. It would eliminate a lot of ache on the site.. **

Misty: Wow, you make Gary's ego look... small. Like his is a kid balloon while yours is the Lame Team Rocket hot air one.

Me: I resent that. I was only merely stating the truth that my fans and I know. Which is the fact that I'm the coolest thing since they introduced dragon types to the games.

Ash: Wait, what's small?

Gary: Well, it could be—Mmfff!

May: I would, for once, try to keep this somewhat clean.

Drew: That's what she said

Brock: Drew, that made no sense

Harley: I'mmmm here!...wait, did anyone miss me?

Melody: Not really. And here I thought women took forever to apply make-up.

Ash: And..uhh.

Paul: Insult fail

Me: People, stop poking fun at the sexually ambiguous people. And speaking of poking, prepare your chopsticks! Guess which movie we're doing!

Max: Ooh ooh! Pick me! It's 'Mulan'!

Me: Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the chopsticks..

Brock: That does seem a little stereotypical, don't you think? 'Prepare your chopsticks?'

Me: I make fun of things, it's what I do. No offense.

Tracey: Real sensitive, aren't you?

Me: When I see a helpless bunny or other baby animals, then yes. Otherwise, most of the times, no.

Misty: How did we get stuck with you again?

Me: Leeeeet's focus on the casting, um-kay? Now, for something totally different. We need a chick who kicks butt and chews bubble gum, but they're all out of bubble gum.

Zoey: But I'm not out of bubble gum

Barry: Holy Mew! Where has she been?

Zoey: The whole time you idiot. Gwen just didn't need me

Me: Until now. You're Mulan. Congrats.

Zoey: That was unexpected.

Me: Exactly. Kenny will be the main dude, Li-Shang. Shootdown-shippers rejoice!

May: What about the dragon? And the cricket?

Me: Dragon? Err, wait here...

Ash: Where's she going?

Misty: Who knows? It's Gwen.

Me: I heard that!

_(Fifteen minutes later...)_

Gary: Can we play the 'Jeopardy' music now?

Ash: Du duh du duh

Tracey: He didn't mean literally Ash

Gary: Yes I did.

Tracey: Please ignore him. Okay seriously Ash you can stop now.

Me: Hey! I'm back! Did anyone miss me?

Harley: Well, I sort of did. I miss the destruction you always bring in your wake.

Me: Um, 'Kthanks.

Drew: Holy... is that...

May:... A shiny Rayquaza?

Ash: Can I catch it?

Zoey: I don't think so. Where did you get it?

Me: A 'Mary-Sue' fic.

Brock: How did you get past their defenses? You know how much they hate any sort of critique or advice on their fics. It's the only way to get to them to them too, unfortunately.

Me: I threw a shiny Eevee. Did you know how easily a Mary-Sue gets distracted by shiny things?

Ash: Shiny Eevee? Where?

Me: At the Mary-Sue fic. I would seriously avoid it Ash. They'll pair you up with their OC, who have magical changing eyeballs and boobs the size of Mt. Kilimanjaro. And they're ten too usually, so technically, you would be committing statuary rape too.

Ash: Oh, good point. How did you get out of there?

Me: I flamed the entire set with my Dragon type army*. I felt totally evil just then. Maybe once we're done here, I'll go back to steal back the shiny Eevee. But the Sues should be a while dousing the flames. Now, this Rayquaza will play as Mushu. But it'll need a voice actor

Rayquaza: I don't need a voice actor. I can talk just fine

Me: OH SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL! It talks!

Rayquaza: You rescued me from a Sue fic. Of course I can talk. It's a Sue fic. All pokemon can talk.

Me: Touche. Well, we need a cricket. Look I found one!

Melody: That's a cockroach.

Me: Wow, this theatre sucks. Can we use it anyways? We can name it 'Steve'.

Ash: Steve the cockroach. Riiight.

Misty: Ah! Bug! Where?

Ash: Oof, Misty! Jeez give a guy a warning when you jump on them!

Misty: Sorry Ash.

Me: Fine we're using it. It doesn't really need a voice actor, so it's okay...

Max: What's she waiting for?

Rayquaza: For it to talk. Can I eat it? I'm quite hungry.

Max: Wow, that must suck.

Rayquaza: Indeed. Well, you do look a little on the plump side...hmmm...

Max: Will you stop poking me? May, I think this Rayquaza wants to eat me.

Me: Out of all the shiny legendaries I got, this one wants to eat us. Do I have to put on the Cone of Shame?

Rayquaza: As long as you don't send me back to the fic, then we're okay.

Me: Good. Now, for Mulan's friends. We'll make it Drew, Brock, and Tracey. Give them nice roles for once.

Drew: I call dibs on the skinny one. You can fight over the fat one.

Brock: How about we make you the short one instead?

Tracey: Wait, do I have to be the fat one?

Me: You guys deal settle among yourselves I have important things to do. Now, for the barbaric villain...Harley!

Harley: Yeeessss?

Me: Okay, maybe you're not barbaric enough. Paul? What say you? Wanna wreak havoc on China, then get killed by a rocket?

Paul: Wreak havoc in China, yes. Killed by Fourth of July fireworks, no.

Me: Too bad, you're doing it. Here's a giant sword. Have fun.

Dawn: You gave Paul a sword?

Me: It's fake, mostly.

Tracey: Umm..

Me: Uh. Paul please stop trying to kill Ash with the sword. It's not sharpened

Paul: Can we sharpen it?

Me: No. Maybe. Okay, do we have the roles?

May: We need the emperor.

Me: Oh, well, Harley can play the Emperor then.

Harley: Oooohhh! It so nice having ultimate power!

Me: Oh my goodness. Let's get started with this, shall we?

Misty: Please yes

XXXXXXXXXXXX

** Once upon a time in Medieval China, back in the days where things made in China were actually nice and rare and when the 'Great Wall' was still as useless as it is now, a guard sat on the wall, utterly bored. How can I tell, you ask? He was playing Solitaire. Without a computer.**

May: They didn't have computers back then

**They had gunpowder. Couldn't they be somewhat advanced? Well, as he was playing Solitaire, the Hun army came along. Apparently they didn't get the message that Solitaire isn't a team sport. Well, anyways, they got cranky and overtook the Wall, which doesn't take much, because the Wall pretty much failed to protect China. Look it up.**

Drew: Don't feel like it

Paul: Can I use my sword now?

**Sure, why not? Just try not to kill the extras. They're hard to replace.**

Paul: HI-YAH!

**What did I say about the extras?**

Paul: You just told me to not kill them. You didn't say anything about maiming them.

**Huh, so I didn't. Bloody loopholes.**

Dawn: Literally

Ash: Ooh, can I be a barbarian too? Pleeeeaaassee?

**You have a great sense of humor Ash, but, NO. After the soldiers on the Wall got totally pwned, the scene pans to a girl, who's getting ready to get matched. Wave to the readers Zoey.**

Zoey: Um, hi?

** There you go. Well, you can bet that didn't go well. Especially since you have a cockroach as a 'good luck charm' and a 25 ft. guardian who wants to eat small children.**

Rayquaza: Well, I never! I've never been so insulted in my life!

Tracey: We have a Rayquaza with a British accent?

Brock: What are the odds of that?

Max: I can calculate it for you?

** I don't want my brain hurting right now with the humongo numbers kiddo. But after the disastrous matchmaking session, some hoighty-tighty official came along and ordered Mulan's dad to join the army, even though he's really, really old. They must have been really desperate. So, in order to avoid bad things from happening, Mulan decided to take her father's place. Cue uber awesome music sequence, where she cuts her hair and rides off into the sunset. But your hair's already short, so we can skip that part. By the way, have you ever had long hair Zoey?**

Zoey:Once upon a time.

Barry: Bet you must have looked hot.

Brock: Do you have to hit on every woman?

Misty: That sounds familiar...

A**nd the kettle calls the pot black. After she went bye-bye, her family ancestors appointed the dragon Mushu, which sounds like a dish...**

Rayquaza: Speaking of dishes...

Max: May! He's looking at me funny!

...**THE ANCESTORS appointed Mushu to act as Mulan's guardian, along with the cricket, umm where's the cockroach?**

Tracey: He ate it

Rayquaza: Stop pointing! I said I was hungry.

**So much for being a 'lucky cricket'.**

Melody: It wasn't even a cricket.

Zoey: Excuse me, but you got a little something, um caught in your teeth.

Rayquaza: I do? Well, thank you. Crap, I can't reach it. Puny arms.

**No wonder there's only one of you. Your completely ill equipped for survival. Darwin would be rolling over in his grave.**

Rayquaza: Can you get it for me?

**I'd like to keep my limbs today, thanks for the offer though.**

Rayquaza: This is going to bug me all day...

** Alrighty then. So Mushu followed Mulan and tried to teach her how to be a 'man'. What are you, the transgender doctor? He gave he a new name too. He dubbed her 'Ping' and that was _not_ 4Kids doing.**

Zoey: I don't like that name. It sounds like a bullet hitting something.

**Sorry. At the camp, she met up with three dudes, Yao, Ling, and Chien-Po. And yes, I did use Wikipedia for that one.**

Drew: I was supposed to be Ling

Brock: Dude, you're short. You're going to be Yao.

Tracey: Just as long as I'm not the fat guy

**It's like watching the 'Three Stooges'.**

May: Just as long they don't beating each other.

**Yeah...wait, too late. They are**

Drew: Two against one? That's so unfair!

Zoey: Why did I even volunteer for this?

**You didn't volunteer, I made you do it.**

Rayquaza: I'm in that same boat with you, my dear.

**Oh my...Well, the general's son showed up. Um where's Kenny?**

Ash: Bathroom.

** Tell him to get out here. So Li-Shang showed up, after he came back from the bathroom. 'Bout time Kenny.**

Kenny: I had to go. Sheesh.

Rayquaza: I do believe that you have toilet paper somehow caught in your armor.

Kenny: *

**Yeah, you so blew the 'cool' factor. So Li-Shang had to train to newbies. I wonder if they had any hazing ceremonies, like fraternities do...**

Zoey: Okay guys! That's so wrong on so many different levels!

Drew: Gwen brought up the hazing ide-IIIIEEEEE!

Tracey: Dude, Zoey just kicked him in the 'nads.

Drew: Can't...breathe.

Brock: Who knew that his voice could go that high?

Misty: I didn't

May: Drew, are you okay?

Drew: No...I'm not...owww...

May: It was still pretty funny though.

** Have to agree with May on that one. Li-Shang trained the newbies, even though they failed miserably. Except for 'Ping'. He, or is it she?..**

Zoey: She.

**Okay. 'She' totally owned and after a montage reminiscent of 'Rocky', they finally succeeded in becoming soldiers. Well, maybe not Drew. He's still in the fetal position. Now soldiers, they were shipped off and they came to a village, burned to the ground. Then Li-Shang found out that his father died. Blame Paul.**

Kenny: Paul killed my dad?

Ash: No. He IS your father.

Dawn: Ewwww.

Brock: Can we stop with the pop culture references? Ash keeps butchering them. Badly.

**It's for the play you fools. As they sat around the village, the Huns decided to attack the misfit army.**

Paul: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Misty: Hey, watch where you swing your sword! You almost killed someone!

Paul: I'm a Hun, I'm supposed to do that.

Misty: Not here!

**Maybe I should have given the role to Harley...**

Harley: You got that right!

**Aaaannnd, the Huns attacked. But 'Ping' saved he day, by launching a giant cannon. Ah, explosives, is there anything you _can't _solve?**

Gary: Ash's stupidity.

Ash: Hey!

**I think they can solve that too. We should test that one day.**

Melody: Did this set just turn into 'Mythbusters'?

**There is a distinct possibility**

Gary: Mythbusters making science cool since they blew up the cement truck.

**Amen. Mulan saved the day by launching the giant rocket, causing an avalanche...**

Zoey: I can't get it to light.

Rayquaza: We could just use my 'Hyper Beam'.

Zoey: Wait, I got it...Crap

**I hope you realize I don't have insurance, right? But during the clash, the head honcho Hun, Shan Yu, wounded Mulan. No Paul, don't actually wound her. **_**Pretend **_** to wound her, despite the fact that she just blew up half the theatre.**

Zoey: Not my fault that you decided to use _real _gunpowder.

**Shan Yu managed to wound Mulan, and she also saved Li- Shang, preventing him from being killed.**

Ash: They killed Kenny!

**I so saw that one coming. But they discovered 'Ping' was a girl, and they gave her the boot. Though I'm wondering if it was because of the giant hole in my ceiling. Unfortunately, Shan Yu survived and pulled himself out of the huge pile of snow. And no, you can not make snow angels. It's a little demeaning for a barbarian.**

Paul: I'm not making a snow angel

**But Ash is.**

Ash: Well, sooorrrry!

**Mulan, spotting the Huns, tried to warn everybody, but she was ignored,, because she was a woman. Sexists. But they got the message soon enough, when Shan Yu's bird got his master's ****sword, then crapped on the audience. Use Honchkrow Paul, I'm sure it would love to crap all over Kenny.**

Paul: With pleasure.

Kenny: I don't like that idea

Paul: Too bad.

**So Shan Yu showed up and took the Emperor hostage.**

Paul: I don't want to. I just want to swing the sword.

Harley: You'll kidnap me and you'll like it!

Max: Um...

Rayquaza: How 'bout we strike a bargain? I can eat the gay guy...

**That would make too big of a mess. So enlisting the help of her friends, who dressed up as concubines...**

Drew: I feel pretty, oh so pretty...

Melody: I feel sorry for you May.

May: Your words fill me with encouragement

Gary: Looks like Captain Sarcasm has struck again.

**...Mulan managed to sneak past the guards and confront Shan Yu. Mushu on the other hand, had a blast with the rest of Shan Yu's army...will you stop eating the extras?**

Rayquaza: Uh, maybe? I can't tell. Honest.

**Suuurrreee. Now, spit them out.**

Rayquaza: But they taste like chicken.

**Now.**

Rayquaza: Fine.

**And Mulan confronted Shan Yu.**

Paul: you so cannot beat me-... uh, is that a giant rocket?

Zoey: You betcha

Paul: Aw, son of a...

A**nd with the rocket, Mulan defeated Shan-Yu and blew up half of the palace. Man, you're awfully destructive today, huh Zoey? Do you just have a bad habit of blowing up things?**

Zoey: Um, China's loaded with exploding things remember? Gunpowders and rocket

** Well at the least, did Carrie from 'Mythbusters' offer to hire you for her substitute?**

Zoey: I once sent in a resume to the show. They rejected me.

Brock: Huh, wonder why.

**And Mulan saved China and Li-Shang followed her home, to 'drop off her helmet'. Or so he says.**

Zoey: Kenny, stop following me. Please.

Ash: Oh! You got shot down!

**Hence, the shipping name.**

Misty: I don't think that's where it came from.

**Can't blame me for trying. And with China saved, everybody lived happily ever after, after the party.**

Rayquaza: Woot! Partay in the Poke-USA!

Ash: Ahk! Watch the tail!

Brock: I think he's drunk.

Misty: A wasted Legendary? Wow.

Max: Wait, what's that funny glow in the distance? It looks like torches.

** Lemme see...OH CRAP! The Mary-Sues found me! And they multiplied! Run Away!**

Rayquaza: Can I eat them?

** Yes, Please. **

Rayquaza: Awesome. Hand me those ant-acids, will ya?

**And, *pant*, tune in *pant*, for the next one! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run from the Mary-Sues. Apparently, they don't take kindly to dragon armies running rampant in their ****stories. Whoops**

*****Yes, I do literally have a dragon type army. I have four Salamences (Anora, Re-Eth-Ke, Pyrox, and Avatre), four Flygons (Mystique, Mystic, Shaman, and Cheyenne), four Dragonites (Aurora, Adele, and two others, whom I've forgotten their names), two Kingdras (Kashet and Kiata) a couple of Charizards (Fafnir and someone else)and who knows how many legendary types XD. That's a lot of dragons lol


	9. Avahontas Ha ha, just kidding Sort of

** If you haven't figured out that I like mocking things, then obviously you have been living under a rock while reading these. The target this time around: "Avatar"(no, not the cartoon TV series, but I'm sure the idea of an Avatar TV series has crossed James Cameron's mind). So if you are some die hard fan of the movie, then be warned, there is rampant pokey-funness of it...**

Max: I don't think that 'funness' is a real word.

**It is now. As I was saying, there is pokey-funness at it. So for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, don't complain about it. You'll only find a way to get mocked the next time I do these...PS: There is also a **_**slight **_**mention of marijuana in the story, but it's only for one **_**teeny tiny **_**scene. I'm not in anyway advocating the use of the drug whatsoever. It's only for humor purposes only**

Me: Now for the movie this time around is "Pocahontas", because my humor muse is a lying liar from lairstown and won't give me material for the movies I talked about earlier.

Misty: Or maybe you just stopped being witty and funny

Drew: Eh, that could be it.

Me: Jerks. So, I have chosen Pocahontas

Brock: Wait, how come you get to decide everything? Why can't we pick the movie for once?

Gary: Hate to say it but he's right. Can we pick the movie?

Me: *sigh*, fine, what do you guys want to do?

Tracey: Wait, she's listening to us?

Me: Don't push it

Drew: I don't mind "Pocahontas"

Brock: You aren't supposed to agree with the director...

Drew: But I want to see May in a buckskin dress.

Harley: Eeeewwww...

May: Drew! You dirty perv!

Kenny: That sounds hot. Dawn, will you wear a buckskin dress for your next contest?

Dawn: Over my dead body.

Paul: And yours, once I through with you.

Kenny: Son of a...

Me: Okay Drew, Pocahontas it is. And since you were so agreeable, you'll be John Smith. May will be Pocahontas

Tracey: Suck up.

Drew: Hey, if you had the chance to see your girlfriend in leather, wouldn't you spring at the chance?

Me: Alright, alright, enough with the perviness.

Max: Again with the made up words

Me: I'm in the process of making my own dictionary, now shush. Blaziken will play May's companions.

Ash: That's the world's ugliest hummingbird I've ever seen

Me: You know, I was wondering, why _haven't _they made a hummingbird pokemon? It would be so cute!

Misty: Well, they've already made nearly six hundred little buggers, with no end in sight. So they'll probably make one eventually.

Dawn: Wait, wasn't there a raccoon in the movie?

Me: Not in "Avatar"...

Tracey: The other one.

Me:...oooOOOhhhh. Um...

Zulu: Hey!

Brock: Holy Crap! What the heck is that Umbreon doing here?

Gary: It's not mine...

Me: Oh, hey Zulu. Wanna play the raccoon since Nintendo hasn't come up with a raccoon pokemon yet?

Zulu: Sure, why not?

Ash: Who is he, er it?

Zulu: 'He', I can assure you

Me: Oh, he's a buddy of mine. I guess I told him he could cameo...

Zulu: Guess?

Me: I said yes.

Zulu: *sigh* Whatever.

Me: Jeez...

Drew: Will you seriously stop bringing your friends to the set? First that one girl...

Me: Sammy?

Ash: Fishy?

Drew: Yeah, that one. And now him.

Zulu: Shut up Grass Head.

Drew: Does this look like the set of "Conan" or "Letterman" to you?

Me: What about "Oprah"?

Drew: I give up.

Me: Does this mean I get to bring more people with me?

Drew: May, please sic Blaziken on me...and try to make it painless as possible...

Me: Now, for the villain, hmmm, how about Giovanni?

Ash: That's new. Why him?

Me: He seems like the evil corporate type. It fits. Ash will play May's dad. Therefore, putting Advanceshipping at an end, because it would then be incest. But since this _is _fanfiction were talking about, I still wouldn't put it past them...

Paul: Why is she suddenly holding a fire extinguisher?

Tracey: Better question, how did she get one out of mid air?

Brock: It's fiction, anything can happen.

Tracey: Including Rayquazas with British speaking accents

Max: That still haunts my nightmares

Me: To put out the flames. And while we're on that track, we'll need some marshmallows too. Mmmmm... Well, we need some cute and fuzzy forest creatures for the story...hmmm...

Melody: Hey, how about that one?

Me: Where?

Dawn: O.M. G! It's a Shaymin! It's so CUUUUTTTEEEE!

Paul: My ear, I think I'm deaf

Ash: Huh?

Paul: _I'm _deaf, not you, you imbecile

Ash: You certainly aren't _sounding _deaf.

Paul: Gah!

Gary: But I thought you could only get Shaymin through cheat codes.

Me: Same here.

Ash, Can I catch it?

Me: No you may not catch it.

Dawn: It's probably lost. Poor thing

Me: Alright you little environmentally-friendly-Sonic- The-Hedgehog reject, the set for "Giratina and The Sky Warrior is two studio lots that way...actually, you are a couple of years too late for the auditions. Sorry bud...

Max: May, is that Gracidea flowers look like?

May: Uh, I don't think so...

Me: Holy mother of pearl! Those aren't 'Gracidea' flowers...they're marijuana plants!

Gary: Sweet! Can we smoke it?

Me: No, we are not smoking the hedgehog...Ash, put that pokeball back in you pocket right now...that sounded dirty...Well, since we can't have the mention of drugs in our stories...

Tracey: Who says?

Me: Flamers.

Harley: Well I never!

Me: Not that type...sheesh. SINCE we can't have the mention of drugs in our stories, he's getting the boot. Literally.

Shaymin: Shay?

Me: Sorry stoned hedgehog.

Shaymin: Shay—MMMIIIIIIINNNN!

Misty: Did she just punt kick a marijuana growing hedgehog through that tiny little window?

Me: I haz skillz...I should have auditioned for the NFL for the position of kicker. I could be better than the kicker the Saints had against the Falcons. Then I could make millions having a career of kicking balls...I always wanted to say that.

Ash/Drew/Brock/Tracey: Owwww...

Misty: I pretty positive she doesn't mean that kind

Me: Possibly

Misty: You know you didn't.

Me: I have got to find a new fandom to mock...Now, for the story...

** Once upon a time, on the planet Pandora-...wait, did we get our scripts mixed up and we somehow got "Avatar"?**

Ash: I dunno

**But the outside does say "Pocahontas"...Awww, son of a...It's the same bloody thing! Ash, hand me that sharpie over there...James Cameron is going to sue me for having these...Now to ****scratch out the names...Let's see, 'Jake Sully' is now John Smith...Heh heh, they even have the same initials! Oh James Cameron, you kill me...**

May: But they seemed to be different.

**No.**

Drew: Babe, not really. While Pocahontas is well, "Pocahontas", "Avatar" is essentially "Dances with Smurfs"

Brock: But they aren't Smurfs; they're freaking ten feet tall. Smurfs are five inches tall

Ash: If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Misty: Ash. Shut up.

**Purple**

Misty: You too Gwen

**I'm narrating the thing thank you very much!**

Misty: Then stop encouraging him.

**Fine, I can work with that. Alright, once upon a time in Merry ole' England...**

May: Did you forget to watch the movie? They're not in England at this time in the movie.

** Where are they then?**

May: The middle of the ocean

**Fine. Once upon a time in the middle of freakin' nowhere. Why nowhere, you ask? Because I don't have GPS and have an exact coordinates for them. And to piss May off.**

Tracey: Burn!

**Shut up. They journeyed across the sea to Pandor-err The "New World"-Freaking * it! I'm going to get these mixed up the whole night!**

Brock: As you were saying?

** Yes, well, they were going to the New World to find some gold, because it's shiny. And they a bunch of greedy...**

Misty: Language, remember?

**Stop censoring me!**

May: you know, what if we made a 'swear jar'? Every time someone swears, they have to put in money in the jar.

**Do I look five to you?**

Melody: Do you _really _want an answer?

*** it.**

May: Into the swear jar...

**We don't even have a * swear jar!**

May: Ahem

**Jerks.**

Brock: You know, if we could get on with the story sometime soon,that would be nice.

**And if we had the actual script to "Pocahontas" instead of "Avatar", that would be nice too. And a pet dragon...if only... Oh right, story. Well in the New World, there was an Indian, oh 'Native American', princess who went by Pocahontas. She was the chieftain's daughter and she was friends with all the happy little forest creatures...with the exception of the green hedgehog. He's off in the next county by now. May, go play with the forest creatures**

May: I am, I am!

**Keep playing! The ship landed and they started to make their settlement. As you can see, the natives didn't like that, so they made the settler's life a living...**

May: Ahem

**Er- heck. Yeah, that was what I was going to say. But the main purpose of the settlers was to find gold, and a whole lot of it. At least it wasn't unobtainium then they would be screwed.**

Ash: Because it was unobtainable?

**Good boy, you caught onto the joke. One of the settler's names was John Smith. He didn't want gold really, he just wanted to explore. Either that or he was lazy to pick up a bloody shovel and WORK!, because it **_**is **_**Drew we're talking about.**

Drew: I take offense to that

**Ooh, I'm so scared, with you and your walking bouquet of a pokemon...**

Ash: Whoa, it _is _a walking bouquet! Drew, is that where you get all those roses from?

**Nah, he has 1-800-Flowers on dial instead. The operators know him by first name...**

Brock: Maybe that's what I oughta do...

Melody: Yes, and then the girls would call 911, because they thought you were a stalker. Or tase you, because it would be fun to see.

**Let's not fantasize about Brock getting electrocuted. But while John Smith was exploring...**

Max: Hey you got the name right!

**I know, be so proud of me. As John Smith was exploring, he came across Pocahontas, who was doing...er something. Well, she had actually ran away, because her father wanted her to marry someone else. **

Ash: I did?

**Yes, and the guy was a total stick in the mud. So poor choice on your part. You suck as a dad. So John Smith came across Pocahontas...**

Drew: I wish the ladies back in England wore those clothes...humina humina...Grrr...

May: Eek, a white guy!

**Oh gee, that's not racist as all...**

May: Well that was how she should have reacted...

**Uh-huh. They met each other for the first time and...Drew, stop drooling. As I was saying, no seriously, please stop. At the rate you're going, next door will think is was a water main that broke. Thank you. The pair met each other ans eventually, Pocahontas decided to teach John Smith the ways of her people. Of course, it entailed jumping off of waterfalls, harassing bears and doing other dangerous stuff, which then bags the question: was she trying to kill him?**

Brock: There is a distinct possibility

**Yes, if you were John Smith.**

May: I'm going to teach you the ways of my people!

Drew: Can you find a way to teach me without trying to kill meeeEEEEEEEE!

**Well, that went well. But as with all Disney movies, as we have established by now, they magically fall in love. However, there is that little quibble of the guy Pocahontas was supposed to marry, and the fact that the Indians and the settlers do not like each other. Did anyone ever mention that part?**

Melody: Nope

Tracey: Nuh-uh!

Bcork: Nadda

**That was a rhetorical question. Oh, **_**and **_** May's little forest friends don't like John Smith. Dude, life sucks for you.**

Drew: Tell me about it-IIIIIIEEEEEEEE!

Blaziken: Blaze!

Zulu: Bwahahaha! I always wanted to do this!

**Run Forrest Run! Please excuse the interval while we save Drew from the clutches from a pair of very peeved pokemon. If you hear some abnormal noises, it's either your computer, bodily functions, or the girlish screams of Drew as we pry him from the grip of Blaziken...Nice Blaziken...good Blaziken... Zulu! Give me back that fire extinguisher! I was using that to take out flamers!**

Zulu: By hitting them?

**At this rate, yes, now, GET BACK HERE!**

Ash: Should we continue?

Misty: Well, considering that the main character is getting his butt handed to him on a platter, maybe we wait.

Brock: I swear, we're never going to get this done...

***pant*pant*...okay I got it back and stop pouting Zulu, I wasn't going to let you beat him anyways. Well, after that little escapade...**

Drew: My hair's ruined

Zulu: Yes! I have triumphed!

**Alrighty then...Well, Pocahontas and John Smith then secretly plotted to meet later under a tree, for a romantic rendezvous I guess. And since this May and Drew we're talking about...**

May/Drew: Hey!

** Hey, I'm only telling it according to the fans here. They think you're some lovey-dovey couple who throw each other flowers in public.**

May: That's only Drew, not me.

** Fine. Needless to say, whenever you're planning on a romantic rendezvous, let's just say you extend an invitation to Mr. Murphy's Law.**

Ash: Who's Murphy?

**A guy who created laws that make more sense than our government's, but that's a whole new avenue to go down on. So, that night, while meeting under a talking tree...did I ever mention the talking tree?**

Melody: No, you completely ignored that character,

**Oh well. It gets tedious casting every single character you know? So, while meeting under the talking tree? Wouldn't that be awkward, trying to have a romantic rendezvous under a talking tree? I mean, it's like having a sibling eavesdrop on you while you're trying to make out. Or worse, your parents...not speaking from personal experience or anything...**

May: Trust me, I get it from Max all the time.

Max: That was only one time!

Drew: IT was still awkward.

Zulu: Who cares about you?

**Bad Umbreon!**

Gary: Which one?

**The one that tried to beat the snot out of Drew with a fire extinguisher.**

Zulu: What makes it think it was me?

**You still have the extinguisher in your hand-er paws. Do you even have thumbs to hold it?**

Zulu: Doesn't look like it

Tracey: Then how do you do it?

Paul: Can we finish this?

**Sure, why not? Well, during the romantic meeting, Pocahontas's future husband to be and one of John Smith's buddies show up, and trust me, they are TICKED.**

Drew: Yeesh, can we even get a chance to have a single romantic moment together in this whole bloody movie?

**Only after you nearly die. Well, the Indian tries to kill John Smith, but John Smith's buddy kills him in the process, thus saving John Smith's skin. And now the Indians are really **_**really**_**mad at him. They capture him, planning on executing him. The settlers are peeved too, because they just found out that there was no gold there at all, but the head honcho thinks they're hiding it from him. How the heck do you hide all that gold? Well, at least they aren't trying to blow up giant trees in the process. That would be messy.**

Paul: Um, I just noticed something

**What if it Captain Emo?**

Paul: Do I look emo?

**Do you want an answer? What is it?**

Paul: Your 'villain' hasn't shown up yet?

**What do you mean, Giovanni isn't here?**

Paul: Does he look here?

**Aw, nuts. Well, congratulations, you are now the new villain. Act evil.**

Ash: That shouldn't be too hard.

Paul: Watch it or I'll...

**That's the spirit. Well, on the day of the execution of John Smith...**

Ash: I have the club, can I whack him now?

**No**

Ash: How about now?

**No. Are you harboring some sort of homicidal tendencies against Drew?**

Ash: That's a lot of big words.

**Okay, we're safe.**

Drew: Why is everybody against me?

Zulu: Can I answer?

Let's not try to incite violence, alright? As Pocahontas's father was about to deliver the fatal blow, Pocahontas leaps across John Smith, saving his skin too. And _if _we had the villain, he would have treid to kill the Indian chieftain.

Ash: Thank goodness.

**Yeah, no kidding. That would have been fodder for fanfic fans everywhere. "Ash's father tries to kill son!"**

Brock: Wait, you're trying to tell us that fans think Giovanni is Ash's _father_?

**Yep. Awkward, isn't it?**

Gary: No kidding. We don't even know who Ash's father is.

Ash: Even I don't know.

**I'm sure you do, just that the writers haven't said anything. I personally think he's dead.**

Misty: Well, that's _real _nice.

**That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.**

Dawn: Wait, do any of us even know who are our parents are?

Max: Most of us. May and I have our parents.

Ash: Jerks.

Brock: Me too

Gary: But the rest of us don't

**Pokemon: The Secret home of Peter Pan's Lost Boys. So Pocahontas saves John Smith's life and the bad guy, Ratcliffe, tries to kill the chief, probably because in his tiny delusional mind, the Indians are still hiding the gold, but John Smith leaps in the way, taking the bullet.**

Drew: I"m never playing John Smith again.

** Well goodie for you. So, injured, John Smith is taken to England, but before he leaves, Pocahontas comes by to give him one last kiss and they hold hands before he's taken on the boat, because we know that he's not going to get any action on the ship.**

Gary: Don't drop the soap.

**Oh stop that. Well, needless to say, in the crappy sequel, Pocahontas totally dumps John Smith for some other guy.**

Melody: Why is every Disney sequel crappy to you?

**Lion King 2 wasn't crappy.**

Drew: Like I said, never again will I play John Smith.

May: Why would I dump Drew?

**Maybe because he's a total jerkwad? I don't know! Well, at the very least, we didn't do the actual tale of Pocahontas.**

Dawn: What happened there?

**Well, first of all, she was twelve...wait, May, are you twelve?**

May: I have no idea. The writers never told me my age.

Drew: Me neither

**I thought it was assumed that you were ten when you started.**

Drew: She doesn't look ten.

**Perv. As I saying from earlier, Pocahontas was twelve when the settlers landed. And two, when Pocahontas went back to England, she died of smallpox. Not exactly Disney material.**

May: I die of smallpox!

**No, this is Disney, you're good.**

Zulu: I'm bored. Can I go beat something?

**No...hey! Give me back the extinguisher!**

Drew: Help me!

Tracey: Well, since Gwen is currently distracted with trying to pry the improvised weaponry from Zulu, the world's most violent Umbreon, I'll do the desperate plea for reviews

**They aren't desperate! I just want a hundred reviews!**

Tracey: That sound's pretty desperate to me! Well, please review, before Gwen does something desperate here on this stage, like killing one of us.

**No I'm not!**

Tracey: Oh, and she wishes for you to check out her cameo guest's profile, ZuluBlacky. He may be young, but he has a lot of potential and excellent ideas. And according to Gwen, he has the cutest profile pictures.


	10. Never Crossbreed The Universes

**Target for this week: a crapload including Oldrivalshipping, French people, and possibly _Twilight_...though we might not get to the last one...dang it.**

**Correction: Yes, yes we are.**

**And I apologize to any and all people with French heritage and are French readers. I'm not trying to offend you at all. I'm mocking the stereotype that seems to have been created, not the actual French people :). **

**Please don't kill me.**

Melody: Why are we mocking "Twilight"

Me: Because I can. And also there's a crapload of stuff to make fun of in it

Tracey: I just pray that we aren't doing that for a movie.

Me: Dude, it's not even Disney. If it was, my soul would die on the inside.

Brock: So if we said...

Me: NO. Besides, we're doing "Beauty and the Beast", not that.

Misty: Thank You God.

Me: You're welcome. Now, let's get on with this before the fans come after me again.

Melody: For what?

Me: I dunno, but they'll find something.

Brock: Well, if you keep mocking the Twilight series, then they'll come after you.

Dawn: "Twilight"! I love it! The love between Edward and Bella...

Me: Put a sock in it. Now, for the cast. Gary, since I'm going to be pitying your soul within 10.5 seconds, you get to play the Beast.

Dawn: And Jacob...he's so hot...

Paul: Kill me now. . .

Kenny: Sooo, if I somehow take off my shirt, in order to get Dawn to like me...

Paul: Now really kill me now...

Me: I said, stuff it.

Gary: Wait, why will you pitying my soul?

Me: You'll see in three...two...one!

Leaf: Hey Blue! It's been like totally forever since we last saw each other! I missed you!

Gary: What the?...

Me: Told you.

Leaf: We're supposed to together! Forever! Well, according to the fans and the loads of Fanfictions...

Ash: Is Gary twitching?

Brock: I think he's going to have an epileptic seizure.

Gary: GAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Leaf: Come back here Blue! I looooove you!

Gary: I'm not Blue!

Tracey: Should we help him?

Ash: No, I'm basking in the glow of his imminent doom.

Gary: For the love of Mew, pry this girl off of me!

Me: Ahh,..life doesn't get much better than this. And remember kids what have we learned from this?

May: Don't crossbreed the universes.

Me: Good kids. Now, on for the rest of the cast. Brock, you're Gaston.

Paul: How ironic. Two grown men who still can't get chicks.

Melody: Least Brock doesn't die in this one.

Brock: No, I just have to replace my ear every time Misty gets a hold of it.

Melody: Not nearly as bad as dying.

Brock: Or you could be in Gary's situation.

Gary: Help me!

Me: Actually, Gaston does take a one-way trip to the drink. Wait, does that count as a spoiler alert?

Brock: Can I change roles now?

Tracey: If you do, who else are we going to get for a pervert?

Melody: Drew?

Ash: I would suggest Gary, but he's at the moment trying to fend of possible glomping.

Misty: What the crap does that mean?

Leaf: Come back here Blue! We're meant to be together forever and ever!

Me: Will you shush? I'm trying to cast people here! Drew will play Lumiere, with May as the little feather mathingy.

May: Duster. That's what they're called.

Me: Shut it. Harley will play Cogsworth, because the fans want to see him flaming.

Ash: They already do.

Harley: Will you stop being politically incorrect?

Me: Um, I was born politically incorrect. It's like in my DNA or something...I'm not really sure.

Dawn: Um Gwen?

Me: What is it?

Dawn: Has anyone noticed how much Leaf sounds like Bella?

Me: Really? I wouldn't know.

Tracey: Well, you seem to know a lot since you make fun of it so much.

Me: It's called "let's laugh at horrible acting". See? I told you we would be making fun of Twilight? Maybe we'll do a special on it.

Gary: Can we get with casting? I'm getting mauled over here!

Leaf: But Blue!

Gary: I'm Gary!

Me: Fine, you just _love_ ruining the fun for everybody else huh? Okay, Max is the adorable little teacup...

Max: I'm starting to hate these "cute" roles.

Me: Well unfortunately, you really can't play anything much more masculine. Maybe Edmund from "Narnia", but that's about it. And Melody will play Mrs. Potts. Heh heh, pot.

Melody: Oh. Goodie.

Misty: Real mature there.

Me: I know. So that leaves Belle's dad and Gaston's sidekick. Hmmmm...I'm starting to run out of people methinks.

Misty: What about those new people from the new series?

Me: Has it really been that long since I did one of these?

Max: There's a new series?

Brock: Yeah, and you can bet that we won't be in it.

Me: By the gods! How can there be a new series? I haven't even seen all of Diamond and Pearl yet.

May: That would explain why Ash's eyes are so freakin' huge!

Me: Holy son of a...I don't know what! Did the bishie fairy come by here? They're as big as my hands! And so...glittery!

Ash: Save me from myself!

Misty: Get off of me!

Me: Quick, hand me those wooden stakes!

Brock: The ones that just so happen to be conveniently lying here?

Me: Yes, those!

Melody: Why?

Me: So I can kill the producers before Ash starts to glitter and attract the fangirls and their cliched fics!

Ash: I don't want to die!

Me: Then get rid of those freaking shiny eyeballs!

Max: I'm going to need therapy...

Tracey: I agree.

Gary: Can I have one of those stakes too?

Misty: To kill yourself?

Gary: To pry Leaf off of me! I think she superglued herself to my leg

Me: And this is why we don't crossbreed the universes. Because bad things happen and things end up exploding.

Paul: Nothing's exploded yet.

Me: Ohhh, but it will...Bwahahaha! Now for the story.

Tracey: Question.

Me: Now what?

Tracey: If Gary's supposed to be the Beast, where's his beast costume?

Me: Right here. I stole it from one of those Disney workers. I punched him in the face and ran off with it. I finally found my purpose in life.

May: To punch Disney workers in the face?

Me: Exactly. Then for good measure, I gave him a kick. If the police come by, I'm now Juan Pablo..uh, Jacques. I'm now both a man with Mexican and French heritage.

Tracey: Fitting with the French theme.

Melody: As long as you don't surrender to the police when they come by, since you're now French and all.

Me: Crap, I forgot about that! Curse you French people and your penchant to surrender!

Misty: Yep, political incorrectness does live in your DNA.

Me: But the French are so easy to make fun of!

Ash: Let's hope that you don't have any French readers.

Me: I pray so as well. I already put a warning label up earlier.

Gary: Can we get on with this? I want to send...her back to her universe as soon as possible!

Leaf: But Blue...!

Gary: I'm. Not. Blue!

Me: As do I.

Brock: I pity this Blue person.

Me: As do I.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Once, there was a tiny French town, by the name...Um...Sacre Bleu!**

May: What happened?

**That's what I'm calling the town. Sacre Bleu!**

May: Why do you keep cursing.

**But I'm calling it. Sacre Bleu!**

May: I don't get it.

**And I don't get you. So this little town of Sacre Bleu...don't you dare say anything...was the home of a girl named Belle and her dad, Maurice. Did I make a Maurice?**

Brock: Nope

** Crap in a Bucket! Well, Paul can be her dad. I don't know, because it has no logical standing, but my brain is getting fried. It must be from when I transported Leaf from the other dimension.**

Gary: I hope other things got fried in the process.

**Why haven't you got your costume on yet?**

Gary: I can't get her off of me!

**That would explain it. Well, I would suggest that you try to beat her off, or throw something shiny to get her attention. Maybe that GS ball that was have no idea what it does.**

Ash: Maybe it has Chuck Norris in it.

** Do you want a visit from the Slap Fairy?**

Misty: No but the Screw-Up Fairy has taken permanent residence here.

**Touche.**__**Well, Belle wanted to leave her tiny little town...**

Leaf: Hi there!

**Shut up. As I was saying, Belle wanted to leave her tiny town and frankly I don't blame her. I would to, if I were surrounded by French stereotypes. Again, I don't**_** actually**_** mean that.**

Brock: Liar.

**Sigh, you caught me. So, Belle made these huge plans to leave. Again, that was a lie because she spent most of her life with her nose stuck in books. So that plan went entirely out the window.**

Leaf: What's a book?

Tracey: Are you sure that you didn't accidentally transport Bella from "Twilight"?

**I would like to think to. But Belle kept getting hit on a guy named Gaston, who could have any girl he wanted, but he went with the nerd instead. Tragically, actually, that too is a lie, so not really, Belle rejected him. Again.**

Brock: do I really have to hit on her?

**For the sake of a plot, yes. But at the same time, her dad wanted to enter a science fair with some crazy contraption that can cut wood. Why he couldn't just cut the wood himself, I don't know. Disney baffles me.**

Drew: Your mom baffles you.

**As do you with your misplaced insults. However, during the process of transporting his crazy contraption, he got lost.**

Kenny: Yeah Paul, get lost.

Paul: Can I kill Kenny with this contraption?

**When the readers aren't looking. So Maurice got lost in the woods, and he came upon a castle, which looked really really cool.**

May: Actually, it looks kind of creepy.

**What are you, puppies and rainbows?**

Melody: That would explain Ash's gigantic eyes.

Ash: I'm so ashamed with myself...

__**Riiiiight. So, casting all common sense aside, Maurice decided to enter the castle, which was haunted by inanimate objects and a hideous monster. Oh good Gary, you got the costume on.**

Gary: Yeah, but it's freaking hot in here.

**It's either that or the outside world.**

Gary: I would go with that, but Leaf is currently cuddling with the costume. Apparently it's fuzzy.

Leaf: Oh, Blue, you're so warm and soft, even if you do smell like a school of tuna just died on a landfill.

**And here I thought they actually cleaned those costumes. My bad Gary. But it turns out that the Beast of the castle, which apparently nobody in the village heard of, was once a prince who was turned into a beast because he was a jerk and a horrible host to boot. How do I know this? Because he locked Maurice in a dungeon.**

Paul: Wait, we didn't have a budget for costumes, yet we have a miniature dungeon?

Gary: I think I'm about to faint in this thing.

**I stole it from a local Phantom of the Opera set. **

Max: How many things did you steal?

**To many to count. Belle, learning that her dad was in a dungeon, went to rescue him, but the Beast was a jerk to her too. But somehow, Belle managed to convince the Beast to let her dad go, but Belle had to stay there. Thankfully she had a bunch of talking things to keep her company.**

Harley: It's okay, we'll make you feel better about yourself...why do I smell burning polyester?

Drew: I always wanted to do that.

Harley: Drew you jerk! Why would you do such a thing?

Drew: I dunno, because I was bored.

May: More like he doesn't like you.

Harley: But all those times...Ooh1 That's hot! Can I have a fire extinguisher please?

**Sorry, Zulu ran off with that after that one movie.**

Drew: I love the smell of burning chemicals in the morning.

Misty: Aren't those chemicals bad for you?

**Correction: We love the smell of burning carcinogenics in the morning. **

Harley: Hellooo? Still on fire, remember?

**Oh right, I forgot. Misty, go help him out. And Drew, while we appreciate your enthusiasm, stop making out with the feather duster. Thank you. And of course, the Beast was a jerk to Belle too.**

Leaf: But Blue would never be a jerk to me, even though he likes to call me "pesky girl", whatever that means...

Gary: I'm. Not. BLUE!

Leaf: Eeeek!

**Atta boy Gary, way to get into character. But the Beast got even angrier when Bella messed with his rose, courtesy of Drew's rose collection...**

Drew: That's where that one rise went. 

** ….And forcing Leaf to run away...**

Ash: Yeah Leaf, go run away.

Leaf: Oh be quiet Red.

Ash: Is she talking about my hat?

**I'm afraid not. Well, the Beast felt bad, so he went out to rescue Belle, though in this case, the Beast may feel disinclined to go rescue her.**

Gary: Got that right.

_**But**_**, he did it anyways and in the aftermath, he started to grow feelings for her.**

Gary: When Swinubs fly.

**SPROOOINGGGG!**

** Okay, what the flying frig was that?**

Ash: Sorry, Tracey and I accidentally sprang the Swinub catapult.

Tracey: I had nothing to do with that!

Gary: "Accidentally" my foot.

**For once I agree with you.**

Leaf: You love me Blue! I love you too! Can I kiss him now?

**No.**

Leaf: How about now?

**No.**

Leaf: Now?

**Read my lips. N. O.**

Gary: I know it has nothing to do with the plot, but can you kill me now?

**Sorry Gary, but I have to cut to another scene. During all of this, Maurice managed to ****walk through an entire snowstorm and into a bar, where conveniently Gaston was at, ranting about how he can't get into Belle's pants.**

Brock: But I don't really want to.

Max: That's a first.

** Tell me about it. So Maurice starts ranting and raving about the gigantic castle and gets promptly thrown out, because he didn't do the two drink minimum, but Gaston could have covered that easily. Because he has manly chest hair.**

Misty: Gag me with a spoon.

**Sorry for that mental image. But because Gaston can't hook up with Belle, he concocts this freaking crazy plan to get Belle to marry him: threaten to throw her dad into the insane asylum if she doesn't marry him. Yeah, that's real manly. And why hasn't anybody noticed the freaking castle! It's right there, looming over that stupid forest! Surely they have to notice something, or do they live in this gigantic bubble or something?...Okay I think I'm done now. **

Paul: I'm protesting this plan, by the way.

Dawn: Does anybody notice that the guy who runs the insane asylum looks like the bad guy from Hunchback of Notre Dame?

**Nope, don't notice a resemblance.**

Dawn: Are you sure?

**Positive. And at the castle, the Beast tries to come up with a plan to tell Belle how he feels.**

Leaf: But he doesn't need a plan! I know how Blue feels!

Gary: Are you sure about that?

**So the Beast asks her to dance and he fails to tell her at the end, instead...wait, I smell burning polyester again.**

Drew: My bad.

Harley: I hate you. Oooowwww!

**Now you're really getting waaayyyy too much into this role.**

Drew: But Lumiere caught Cogworth on fire in the movie.

**But not this much.**

Melody: It's a bit creepy, to be honest. And why haven't I gotten a chance for a speaking role?

**Well, from I got, you didn't want it. And Beast sends her off to be with her dad, who's sick, apparently. But she gets waylaid by Gaston on the way, who gets insanely jealous that she was with Beast the whole time. Brock be jealous.**

Brock: That's so unfair! Why!

**Good enough.**

May: I think he's still complaining from earlier.

**I haven't really been paying attention. So Gaston makes this plan to kill the Beast. And it's about bloody time that the villagers realize the castle is there! Okay, I swear I'm done now. I think. Actually, I'm not sure.**

Gary: Costume...so...hot... I think I'm dying.

Leaf: But Blue, you don't die yet.

Misty: Pity.

** And Gaston with his village mob go invade the castle, where they promptly get their tuckuses handed to them on a silver platter, which may or not be alive, I can't really tell at this point.**

Max: Hi-Yah! I'll show you!

** And thank you for the impromptu demonstration. Not really. At this point, the Beast was going emo-tastic because Belle left him. **

Gary: Actually, it's because my costume's roasting. You could pop popcorn in here. How do those workers do it?

Ash: Can we try popping the popcorn?

** Let's not and say we did. Belle decided to use her father's wood chopping thingymabobber to rescue her love from the castle...**

Leaf: How can I rescue him if I don't even know how to turn it on?

Paul: I pity the gene pool in your dimension.

**Me too. Belle, with the help of her father and an instruction manual, manages to make it to the castle.**

Leaf: How do I get to the castle?

Misty: Can I beat her? Please?

**Get in line. When Belle arrives at the castle, the Beast is locked in a raging battle with Gaston! Eventually, the Beast triumphs with the help of Belle's love1 Notice how I'm being facetious here. Tragically though, the Beast gets stabbed, but not before he heaves Gaston off the castle.**

Gary: But I can't lift Brock off the stage.

Just kick him off then, Spartan style. It's much more dramatic that way.

Brock: No wait don't—OW! That really hurt!

Gary: My bad.

T**he Beast laid there, dying from the knife wound...**

Ash: Actually, I think he fainted from heat exhaustion.

**Well, get the man some Gatorade! ** **In her grief, Belle tells the Beast that she loves him.**

Leaf: But I already did.

**You're lucky that I can't kill you just yet. **

Melody: Can I? I'm not that important.

**Maybe later. Just then, something happens; the Beast is magically turned back into a human and the castle turns back into something that looked like it came from one of those really bad Barbie movies. And the inanimate objects turn back into people again as well.**

Gary: Gwen, can I have some help taking the costume off? Wait, never mind, Leaf's helping me, I think.

**Actually, I think she's trying to ravage you.**

Gary: Freaking fantastic.

**How do you think we feel?**

** *POOF!***

Blue: What in the name of Ho-Oh is going on here? Leaf, why are you trying to ravage that poor man?

Leaf: Oh Blue! How I missed you!

Blue: Gah!Get off me!

Gary: Wow, you too?

Ash: Wait, there are _two_ Garys? I'm so confused now.

**Holy Crap! I didn't turn off the inter-dimensional transporter!**

May: did you make that up?

** Yes, yes I did. **

Melody: Um Gwen, the cops are here!

**An even bigger crap! I'm out of here! And remember, I'm Juan Pablo Jacques.**

Police: This is the police! Open up!

**You'll never catch me alive coppers! Bahahahahaha!**

Police: Excuse me, have you seen a girl using the guise Gweniveve Skyes?

Ash: Actually, she's now Juan Pablo Jacques now and she went that way.

**Shut up Ash! And while I'm running from the cops, remember to review and send suggestions in! Because I'm not actually dead and I would really appreciate them.**

** Oh and no offense to fans of Leaf or her counterparts in any of the universes. I'm pretty ****sure I like her as much as the next person, depending on who the next person is. That was a joke by the way, the second part, I mean.**

** Fox News Alert! Ha, it's not actually an alert, but I did publish a new story. It's called **_**The Aura Rising Trilogy Book II: Shaman of Blue Flame.**_** It's a continuation of the first one and if you liked the first one, you'll love the second even more, I guarantee it. :) **


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